girlfiend

I’m still not used to being pregnant. You’d think that by now since I’m in my third trimester and either 29 or 30 weeks in (depending on if you’re looking at the initial due date or the dates from the ultrasounds which all date me a week ahead) I’d be a little more accustomed to the idea, but it still (the waddling, the occasional shooting pains, the leg cramps, the random bouts of heartburn) catches me by surprise. I can’t tell if it’s a good thing or a bad thing. I still hate being pregnant. But it’s not all consuming. Things haven’t been going that badly for me this time around. I’m not sleep deprived and horribly depressed. I don’t have constant heartburn like I did with T and I don’t have the constant paranoia I had with F. Or the insane weight gain I had with F.

Speaking of weight gain, I’ve started to gain weight for real; I’m up between 22-25 pounds depending on the scale but I still find myself asleep on my stomach some mornings. Clothes are an exercise in humiliation. Even though I’m carrying small, most of my maternity shirts are too short and my pants are too big. I’m always showing off either a butt crack or belly gap, even with a stupid belly band over my pants. It’s not good for my self-esteem. I’ve taken to wearing makeup, just so I don’t feel so shitty about how I look.

This baby is breech. I know that it’s not a big deal yet, but both of the boys were head down by this point and the last thing I want is a c-section recovery. My OB told me not to do any interventions yet (chiropractor, acupuncture) since the baby still has plenty of time to flip. But I am a pessimist by nature and the six weeks until my 36 week ultrasound is a long time to worry and wait.