girlfiend

Dear Boyfiend,
Your family is wonderful. I’m glad that I’ll soon officially be a part of it. But please, please tell your mom not to buy me any Christmas themed gifts. I’m Jewish.
Thanks for putting up with me even when I’m bitchy. Thanks for rubbing my forehead and making me coffee. Especially when you Irish it up for me. Thanks for your instinctive ability to insult others without realizing it. It’s hilarious. Thanks for the gifts I’ve not yet opened. Thanks for making me laugh when we brainstorm baby names in the car. I think we should name our future kid “Dollar Eighty five.” Or maybe Doyles. Or Jenks. Or Omega. Or something that will cause him to be the butt of jokes for the entirety of his childhood. Thanks for being so damn cute. I’m in love with you.

Dear Friends,
Thanks for everything. Thanks for setting up a subdomain of Junkiegirl.com just for me. Thanks for buying me that supercool Onion book. Thanks for the My So-Called Life DVDs and all the rest. Thanks E, for the gift you haven’t given me yet and hours of tech support I know you’ll put in once I buy the laptop. Thanks for listening to me whine and complain. Thanks for being there. You all rock.

Dear Readers,
Thanks for reading. Thanks for saying such nice things about my writing. Thanks for your support and interest. I’ll even thank you for the advice, even though most of it is completely unwanted and unnecessary. I love you anyway.

Merry Christmas people. Eat too much and get sloppy drunk for me.

Love,
Girlfiend