girlfiend

Adding to my now outdated list of 100 things
101. I have three black hairs that I pluck obsessively- one on my chin, one on my cheek and one on my neck. These are in no way like my superlong eyelash that grows to be three inches long and gets split ends when left alone
102. The older I get the more I turn into my father. I’m becoming even more nutty about cleanliness and I’m constantly muttering about other drivers (they’re all assholes who shouldn’t be on the road, especially the ones who speed up to cut you off when you try to merge or the ones who stop in the middle of the street for no reason without blinkers or without pulling into one of the five available parking spots- see I’m getting all worked up) when I’m driving
103. I am far more relaxed about motherhood than I ever imagined. It’s all really, really good.
104. Back to the father thing, right now all I want to do is vacuum the rug but I can’t because the Fiendling has unfortunately entered a stage where he doesn’t like the vacuum.
105. Lately I’ve been seeing a number of women with kids who have nose rings which sort of makes me want to put mine back in. What’s stopping me you ask? The Fiendling would immediately try to rip it out of my nose and my father would ask, “what’s that thing in your nose?” and “when are you getting rid of that thing in your nose?” every time he sees me.
106. I was not expecting my dad to be such an influence in this section of the list.
107. I’m smug about breastfeeding which isn’t really fair because I know that despite the troubles I’ve had that I’ve had it relatively easy. I understand low supply and I understand allergies and I understand all of the other obstacles that women face like having nowhere to pump but a dirty restroom stall. But I can’t understand formula feeding just because you don’t want to breastfeed.
108. I went through about two years- 9th and 10th grade- where I was unhealthily self-centered and I just wasn’t very nice. So I’m really sorry if you knew me then and I treated you badly. You probably deserved better.
109. One of the best things about breastfeeding is the Fiendling’s sweet, milky smell.
110. Unless they’re no-show low-rider socks I always seem to have an issue with socks leaving elastic marks around my legs. I hate that.