girlfiend

Way back in December I responded to a meme that was in circulation. One of the questions I answered asked me to name three things I wanted to try in the next twelve months. At the time I wrote:

1. Getting a new job
2. Unsupported handstands
3. getting knocked up

I have no choice but to get a new job, so that’s a no-brainer. Unsupported handstands still elude me, but I’ve gotten much closer to finding my balance point. As for number three, it appears that I’ve succeeded.

I’m sort of pregnant. I say sort of because I haven’t gone to the ob-gyn yet, but my doctor assured me that three pregnancy tests can’t be wrong. I wasn’t going to say anything until after the first trimester, but I have a big mouth and don’t know how not to. (Speaking of my big mouth, I do apologize if you’re a friend and you’re reading this here instead of hearing it from me directly.)

I’ve known for a little more than a week and it’s been a struggle to keep it quiet. After the second test came out positive I ran to the library to get some books. Here’s some advice if you, like me, are prone to panic and find yourself newly pregnant. Whatever you do, do not, under any circumstances, read The Panic-Free Pregnancy. I read it and immediately panicked. One of the first things I read was that fifty percent of early pregnancies end in miscarriage. Fifty percent. How on earth am I supposed to read that and NOT panic? I’m desperate to keep this little peanut inside of me and the last thing I need is some book telling me that I’m likely to lose it. Christ. And of course I had to find out while Boyfiend was off sailing in Maine with no cell phone reception.

But I’m still pregnant and I have all of the early symptoms- my breasts are big and sore, I’m exhausted, and I’ve been queasy for days. So yeah. If all goes as planned, some time in March there’ll be a little fiend keeping me up at night.

In more important, less self-indulgent news, I hope the people of London are able to sleep safely tonight.