Yesterday I went to the gym for the first time in a while. I admit that I was slacking for a while, what with the nausea and all, but since I’ve been feeling better I’ve actually started working out again. I taped three episodes of Inhale to take on vacation (I fucking hate that cocksucker Steve Ross, always telling you to dance, but the yoga’s not bad) and I actually made my way through the tape two and a half times. Since returning home I’ve gone to two 75-minute yoga classes. So even though I hate the fact that I’ve gained ten pounds while I don’t actually look pregnant yet, I haven’t been feeling that bad.
Until yesterday. When the lovely staff at my gym told me that my ass is getting bigger. Of course it was immediately followed by how hot and curvaceous I am now, but really Chris, that was too little too late. Never tell a pregnant woman her ass looks big.
I was hoping that I’d be one of those women who stays thin and pretty except for a basketball-sized belly, but obviously that’s not to be. My waistline, my ass- what’s next? My ankles?
Anonymous | 18-Aug-05 at 3:04 pm | Permalink
Actually, When you came home from your trip I thought that you had never looked better.
E
fiendFriend | 18-Aug-05 at 4:04 pm | Permalink
“Inhale” is an abomination. He needs to be stopped. What with that “Downward Dawg” and his constant cackling… and commercials!!! ugh.
Anonymous | 18-Aug-05 at 10:50 pm | Permalink
How about when you wear the sweatpants that say “juicy” on the butt?
e2
SafeTinspector | 19-Aug-05 at 6:27 am | Permalink
Its all relative. Have you considered the fact that, instead of your ass getting bigger, the universe is getting smaller in comparison?
Anonymous | 19-Aug-05 at 8:02 am | Permalink
Yeah, no joke, swollen ankles are probably next–swollen fingers too, depending on your water retention. You realize you’re pregnant, right? Pregnancy wrecks freakin’ havoc on the body. The good news is that it’s healthy to gain about 25 lbs during pregnancy–anything more is a bit too much. So if you’ve already gain 10, you only have 15 more to go.
lisamechelle | 19-Aug-05 at 10:41 am | Permalink
I think the correct terminology is “cankles,” according to my son. When your calves meet your feet, you have cankles, lol. There’s no point in fretting weight gain, it’ll only make you crazy. Just keep it reasonable. 25 is average, but if you’re underweight, you may gain more.
erika | 20-Aug-05 at 5:47 pm | Permalink
*heh* I keep trying to trick Jay into admitting that my ass is getting huge. I like to think it’s preparing to balance out my belly so that I don’t fall flat on my face.
Anonymous | 22-Aug-05 at 12:24 am | Permalink
Baby, Chris at the gym says witty things. There is no doubt he is a clever guy just as there is no doubt he is gay. Gay as a bee. He doesn’t appreciate a hot ass on a woman. Your ass looks fabulous. You are beautiful. I love you.