girlfiend

I love my dad, but he can be incredibly frustrating.

We were just on the phone- he leaves for his annual Christmas trip to Florida tomorrow- and all of a sudden in the middle of a sentence he stopped and yawned. I said,”Tired?” He paused and said, “No that was weird.”

“What was?”

“I don’t know how to describe it. This thing happened to my body. It happens around my upper body, near my heart. It’s weird. I don’t know how to describe it.”

“What do you mean, is it like a shudder?”

“Yeah, kind of. It’s been happening the past few months.”

“How often?”

“Seven or eight times a day?”

To myself: Are you fucking kidding me?
To him: “Have you talked to your doctor?”

“No, I have an appointment in March.”

“Dad, seven or eight times a day is scary. Change your appointment. Move it up. That shouldn’t be happening.”

“Okay. I’ll change it.”

“Yes dad. Please. See your doctor soon. It’s not normal. It’s scary. It shouldn’t be happening that often.”

Only my father. He’ll be 71 in a few weeks and doesn’t stop to think that it’s not fucking normal for your body to do something weird and uncomfortable SEVEN
OR EIGHT TIMES A DAY. What if he’s having small seizures, what if it’s his heart? I’m so fucking pissed that he hasn’t bothered to see a doctor and now I’m scared that he’s getting on a plane tomorrow and won’t be back for a week and he’s got this weird health problem that he hasn’t bothered to get checked out. I want him in my baby’s life. I want him in my life. I don’t want anything to happen to him.