I saw this over at Pig’s site and could resist. Here’s the game, and I certainly hope at least some of you participate.
If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, (even if we don’t speak often or don’t really know each other) please post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me. It can be anything you want - good or bad - BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE. When you’re finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people DON’T ACTUALLY remember about you!
Come on. You know you want to share your memories.
salynn | 31-Jan-06 at 3:26 pm | Permalink
Oh gosh, okay. There was that one time when you and I went trolling for gigolos in South Beach, just for kicks. Since we didn’t know where to look for real, actual gigolos, though, we ended up just getting ice cream at a Coldstone Creamery and sipping from our whiskey flasks.
Then you got that tattoo on your ankle that said “Don’t Have a Cow, Man.” I told you that you would regret that one day, but boy was I wrong!
erika | 31-Jan-06 at 3:47 pm | Permalink
Remember the time we were driving through the Ozarks and the car ran out of gas (though you swore we had at least another 10 miles on the fumes)? You made us stop at this little rickety wood house, and I swear, I could hear the music from Deliverance drifting in the air. It was late, too - like 1am. You had the balls to knock on the door - I was such a coward, sitting in the car, insisting that we were going to die.
The guy who answered the door TOTALLY looked like Keith Urban! And he was naked! He invited us in, and you started doing shots of Jim Beam from the bottle on top of his old black and white, and before you knew it, it was sunrise and we were out tipping cows on our way to fill up the little portable gas tank.
God, that was so much fun.
Anonymous | 31-Jan-06 at 7:56 pm | Permalink
Hey remember when you were going through that “creative phase” and you spent all your time writing that screenplay about the cowboys who wind up having gay sex? And I was all like “fuck this shit, no one’s gonna watch something this stupid” so I grabbed it out of your hands and threw it out the window? And it hit that poor asian guy right in the face? And then you were all grouchy with me till I convinced you to just settle down and have a baby. I think we both knew i did you a big favor that day.
good times, good times.
E2
Pigs | 31-Jan-06 at 9:03 pm | Permalink
Do you remember the first time we met? Our eyes met each other’s from across the room and narrowed in challenge. It was like a slow motion Olympic dash to that last snow cone. It really was such a shame what happened to the cafeteria lady. Who knew a hairnet could cause so many different injuries? That snowcone was awesome though. Red and blue swirl. You know I beat you fair and square.
Katty | 31-Jan-06 at 10:15 pm | Permalink
It was the best that time back in high school when we sporked Mr.Thomas’ lawn in the shape of the bat symbol. Of course, we were completely framing our friend Bill who was OBSESSED with Batman. The entire rest of senior year he tried to find out who did it, but he never did.
Tony | 31-Jan-06 at 11:20 pm | Permalink
Yeah,
Remember when we had that burrito eating contest and you won? And I accused you of cheating because you got black beans in yours and mine were full of the clearly heavier pintos? And you told me to go screw myself and we didn’t talk for, like, three months?
mix | 01-Feb-06 at 4:02 pm | Permalink
Remember the time we decided to eat nothing but Flax Seed Oil for a month.
That was quite messy -
boyfiend | 01-Feb-06 at 10:27 pm | Permalink
I know I’ve told most of you this story a thousand times. But once again, I’ll never forget the day we got our start in show business. You and I walked into that famous producer’s office and said, “Today’s your lucky day because we have an act that will blow your mind.”
Before the man even asked us what it was and you spun around, bent over and dropped your pants. Before anyone had a chance to become uncomfortable you ripped a great big nasty fart that put a part in the man’s toupee. With your pants around your ankles, I walked around and booted you in your ass with my red and white clown shoes. You fell, face forward onto the floor. While sprawled across the floor, I stood over you, wagged, my finger, said “Nasty girl, now you’ve got it coming” and began to spank your exposed ass. This, of course, because you’re sort of kinky, turned you on. You kicked off your pants, leaned over the desk and demanded I do you from behind. Mid doggy style coital intercourse the producer, whose face was only inches from yours asked, “What in god’s name do you call this act?” You gasped, “The Aristocrats.”
girlfiend | 01-Feb-06 at 10:33 pm | Permalink
So far I think E2 is the winner. Sorry Boyfiend.