girlfiend

I spent most of the day running around cleaning things and while I think part of it’s just my usual uptight nature, some of it may have been actual nesting. I felt incredibly anxious almost all day and really restless. I organized a bedroom we use as storage and sorted all of our wrapping paper, gift bags and boxes, sheets bed coverings, and a trash bag or two of clothes that never got put away when we moved. Two bags of clothes and bedding we no longer use went to the Salvation Army, one bag of towels went to the basement for Boyfiend to use for his projects and three enormous bags of trash went outside.

Then I freaked out because I hadn’t felt the baby move. Rather than chill out on my left side like you’re supposed to when you haven’t felt movement, I vacuumed, swept and mopped the kitchen, dusted, straightened the guest room and bedroom, washed a load of laundry and windexed. Then I thought I had a contraction. This may seem silly, but for the first time, after feeling what could have been a contraction it occurred to me that I’m going to go into labor some time soon. Even if it’s not today or tomorrow, it’s actually going to happen, and I think I may be just a little bit terrified. I’m surprised it took this long to catch up with me, but it did, just before I felt another contraction. My mind started spinning and I had all of these thoughts of a bad labor and possible permanent fecal or urinary incontinence. I began to think about the possibility of a c-section. What a downer.

I took a shower, got dressed, dried my hair, folded some laundry, then threw a bunch of stuff on top of the bag I still haven’t packed for the hospital. I then retreated to the couch to watch an episode of What Not to Wear and knit. I still haven’t finished the baby blanket I started months ago. Since I moved to the couch, the baby’s been moving around like crazy and I haven’t had another contraction. Boyfiend got home from a walk in the park and talked to my mom who called to see if I was in labor yet. Everyone calls to see if I’m in labor yet. I’m not in labor yet. Boyfiend asked my mother if she wanted him to call when the baby was born. Then he had to say, “Yes, I’m fucking with you.”

This baby is actually going to be born soon.

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