girlfiend

One of the things no one really tells you about breastfeeding is just how time consuming it is. It’s unbelievable. At this stage, just shy of 4 weeks (since I started this 2 days ago, it’s now officially 4 weeks!), the Fiendling is eating every 2 to 3 hours. Intellectually I knew that babies ate every 2 to 3 hours, but what I didn’t know was that the timing starts from the beginning of the feeding, not the end. At the beginning, before my milk came in, when he was teeny-tiny, almost a full pound below his birthweight, he’d spend almost an hour at each feeding. This meant I’d spend 5 minutes setting up pillows. He’d eat for half an an hour. I’d burp him, change him, then adjust the pillows for him to nurse on the other side. He’d eat for another 15 to 30 minutes. Burp, change, lay him down to nap, then have about 5 minutes to myself before it was time for him to eat again. That first week I’m positive that everyone I know, and a number of people I don’t know, saw my boobs. I hope they enjoyed it.

At the beginning, it really hurt. We had a bit of a latch problem so I was cracked and bleeding. After several visits with a lactation consultant and several embarrassing sessions of walking around with my nipples in cups of saline solution it became a lot less painful. Around the time my nipples healed the milk came in full force. Because I was making sure the Fiendling ate every 2 hours, and waking him up at night if he didn’t wake me first, I was able to avoid engorgement, which from what I’ve read is a blessing.

With all of our practice it’s gotten much easier. I can pretty much nurse anywhere and no longer need to mess with all the pillows. We start on one boob. He generally eats for 7-15 minutes. After the first side, round one as I like to call it, it’s time to burp, which can take anywhere from 2-20 minutes. We usually start with him sitting on my lap, leaning against my hand, his chin resting between my thumb and forefinger. I rub his back and pat for a while. He looks pretty damn cute all slumped over my hand. If nothing happens we’ll move to the over-the-shoulder position. If there’s still no burp we’ll go back to the lap position and give that another go. Then we move to the other side for more milk. Many times he’ll fall asleep while he’s eating and his mouth will go slack as milk drips out of the side. Other times he’ll forcefully spit out my nipple, turn red, grunt, and turn his head away from my breast. Sometimes I’m not quite ready for him to stop eating, and a stream of milk will continue to flow like a fountain, spraying the Fiendling, the cats and everything else in range. Comic gold.

Since we’ve gotten so much better at nursing we can do it anywhere. This means I can leave the house more. He’s eaten in the dressing room at Old Navy, at the playground, in a coffee shop, in my car in a parking lot, in another dressing room, at the Breastfeeding Resource Center, in my friend’s back yard, and, unfortunately, in the bathroom with me. It was an emergency. It’s gotten so that I’m pretty sure I’m not exposing my boobs to the world anymore. Of course since everyone’s already seen them it doesn’t matter all that much, but at least I’m a bit more discreet.

Now that he’s a big boy, he’s eating less often, which gives my boobs a break. Sort of. I’m producing so much milk that I have to pump at least once a day, sometimes 2 or 3 times a day. Pumping is a hassle, but it’s a necessity. When I leave him with Boyfiend so I can run errands by myself, I am full of milk and sometimes leaking by the time I get home. The poor little guy’s been squirted in the face by over anxious boobs more than once. He’s also old enough that Boyfiend gets to feed him a bottle. I’d love it if this meant that I got a break, but because of the milk situation I don’t get to relax when Boyfiend feeds him, I have to pump. I don’t love the pumping, but it is fun to see how many ounces I can get at a time. So far the record’s 9 oz in 15 minutes. Not bad considering I’m using a manual pump. I’ve even been so full that I’ve gotten 2 ounces just by hand expressing. Not bad. Don’t I sound sexy now?

So yeah, it’s all about the boobies these days. I’m thrilled that they’ve come through for me and the Fiendling- he’s probably at least 9 pounds by now since he was 8.5 last week- but man, it’s exhausting. Every few days he’ll go through a little growth spurt where he eats every hour. EVERY HOUR! Give a girl a break. I don’t know how people do this until their kids are two and three years old. In my opinion, if the kid’s old enough to use utensils, he’s old enough to be weaned.