Oh my god, I am so, so tired. The Fiendling, all wound up after Junkiegirl and Todd’s wedding, slept until nearly 2 yesterday afternoon then decided he was too upset to sleep much last night. He kept waking himself up as soon as I thought he was out. At 11.30 I decided to let Boyfiend get some sleep, so I took him into the parlor and bounced him on the exercise ball for an hour until he finally stopped shrieking and passed out. Of course once I got him into his crib he woke up an hour later hungry. Then he woke up hungry two hours after that. Then two hours after that. Then two hours after that. Now he’s napping in his swing, but judging by the noises I hear, I don’t think he’ll be asleep for too much longer.
I guess I shouldn’t complain. Last night’s shenanigans were very unlike my little Fiendling. Most nights he sleeps for a good four hour stretch, wakes up hungry, then goes back to sleep for another three to four hours. Ordinarily I’m quite well-rested, but today- not so much.
Sleep is such a complicated issue. On one side you have Dr. Sears telling you to sleep with your baby in your bed until they’re old enough to sleep with their boyfriend or girlfriend. On the other end of the spectrum you have Ferber who tells you to let your baby scream himself to sleep. The Fiendling sleeps in our room in a little pack and play bassinet thing. Sometimes after eating, and most mornings he sleeps in bed with us. It’s sort of terrifying. Aside from Sears and his nighttime parenting, everyone seems to think your baby will die if they sleep in bed with you. You’ll either roll over on them and smother them or they’ll suffocate in your pillows and blankets. But then you hear that babies who sleep in close proximity to their parents are less likely to die from SIDS. Babies who hear their parents breathing are more likely to rouse themselves from episodes of sleep apnea. Then that Baby Whispering bitch tells me that my baby is manipulating me into letting him sleep in my room. She seems to think that babies need to be taught independence from birth and it’s not respectful to let him sleep with us. I don’t want to be manipulated by a 6 week old, but I certainly don’t want that limey whore telling me what to do.
The truth is that I’m terrified of SIDS and don’t think I’m ready for the Fiendling to sleep in the room next door. I’m also incredibly lazy and love my sleep and I sure as hell don’t want to have to go very far to feed him in the middle of the night. The Fiendling’s crib is supposed to be delivered and assembled in his room tomorrow. I know I’m not ready for him to sleep there yet. It seems so far away, and I’d hate it if he was crying and I didn’t hear him.
I have one friend whose baby at 11 months old still sleeps with her. I know others whose babies slept in their own cribs from day one. I guess we’re somewhere in the middle? I have so much more to say about all of this, but right now it just seems so complicated, especially since I’m so tired.
lisamechelle | 24-Apr-06 at 4:32 pm | Permalink
I don’t think, at 6 weeks, you’re at risk for spoiling him. I know how easy it makes when the baby’s close-by when you’re breastfeeding. There is a point, and definitely by 6 months, that the baby should be in his crib. Maybe you could try shifts where he sleeps in his crib, then with you, then the crib? You definitely don’t want him in there when he gets older. That’s a hard habit to break. You’re doing wonderfully, hang in there. You’ll learn as you go, and through it all, you’ll figure things out!
posthipchick | 24-Apr-06 at 5:08 pm | Permalink
someone suggested to me, and i like the ideal, to put the baby in your bed sort of snuggled into the boppy (nursing pillow), so you can not worry about rolling over into him. WHEN he’s in your bed, that is.
everyone seems to struggle with the whole ‘where should the baby sleep’ issue. you just have to figure out what works best for all of you.
Jennifer | 24-Apr-06 at 6:07 pm | Permalink
Don’t worry about spoiling, he so young! I think it is perfectly acceptable to sleep with the baby in the room. My sisters son is 4 now and she still wants him to sleep with her. I think that it ridiculous.
Pigs | 24-Apr-06 at 6:10 pm | Permalink
Good grief. You have a lot to explain to me.
Doodlebug1012 | 25-Apr-06 at 10:36 am | Permalink
I have read that you can’t spoil your baby until he is 3 months old. In other words having him in your bed or in the pack and play now won’t make him want to sleep with you when he’s a bit older. The stuff I’ve read says you should start making them sleep in their own room even if that means that they have to cry themselves to sleep around 3 months.
Baby Doodle has slept in our bed the last two nights. Most nights he sleeps in the co-sleeper (attached to our bed) for the long stretch of sleep and in bed with us for the short stretches.
Beth | 25-Apr-06 at 4:06 pm | Permalink
You can’t spoil your baby by loving him, nor by trusting yourself. Just as children don’t want to nurse forever, they don’t want to sleep with their parent’s forever, either. Whatever you choose, know that we are adaptable by nature and he’ll be fine. My 8 yr old girl sleeps happily in her own room, even though we co-slept until she was 4. Fret not.
boyfiend | 25-Apr-06 at 9:45 pm | Permalink
Sleeping with your baby until she’s 4 must make it really hard to get it on. Our baby boy isn’t going to be hanging around cock blocking that long, but for right now, I want him close to us. An infant should be close to his parents. I’m not a big fan of book burning, but these baby books, especially the pregnancy books, need to be thrown on a pyre. Except the Happiest Baby on the Block. That book can stick around, as can any other book that tells you how to get your infant to stop screaming his head off.
lizcjones | 26-Apr-06 at 3:14 pm | Permalink
Yeah, the Happiest Baby on the Block is a godsend! Thank you Dr. Karp.