girlfiend

Yesterday was the sixth anniversary of our first date, an occasion Boyfiend and I used to celebrate. We missed it last year because our wedding was in March and this year because we’ve been a bit distracted by the 10 week anniversary of the Fiendling’s birth.

Boyfiend and I met in a bar. It was Palm Sunday- a fact which I was blissfully unaware of- and I was drinking alone as I often did in my first year of drinking. (Yes, I meant to write teaching, but first year of drinking is funny, so I’ll leave it.) I wasn’t an alcoholic, it was just that I had only been back in Philly a short time and I didn’t know very many people. I’d also been dumped by a guy in an email a month earlier, hated my job and was rather depressed by it all.

That particular Sunday I found myself involved in a conversation with a guy who bought me drinks. The more I drank, the more I realized he was creepy. He kept trying to touch me and I wanted no part of it, so when I saw two youngish guys with ponytails walk in I was relieved. They sat down, ordered a couple of beers and I walked over and told them a dirty joke. I then asked if I could sit between them and finish my drink. Boyfiend and his roommate were kind enough to accomodate my drunk ass. They even gave me their phone number and address before I left with the promise to invite me to a Cinco de Mayo party they were planning in a few weeks.

A week or so later I started seeing a 40-year-old British carpenter with a broken leg. Through him I met a 35-year-old Jewish cokehead and kayak enthusiast who had a recording studio and a possible case of the clap I had to hear about from someone else. (Looking back at the winners I was dating, my self esteem must have been pretty damn low.)The night of the Cinco de Mayo party I was with the cokehead. I’m pretty sure I emailed Boyfiend to apologize for missing the party. I don’t recall exactly and the emails- on my end anyway, I’m not sure about his- have been lost, but his response led to a few weeks of email flirtation (He quoted Joni Mitchell and I fell for it) before we arranged for an actual meeting.

I was nervous about meeting Boyfiend. He seemed so nice. I didn’t date nice guys. So we arranged to meet at the bar where we’d originally met and I had two friends there as backup. After the initial hellos and introductions we walked to a bar a few blocks away. We drank some beers, shared some fries and talked. Drunk, he walked me home. When we opened the door we found my roommate passed out on the couch in his underwear. I wanted to kiss him good night, but I didn’t want to wake Will, so we went upstairs, made out and fell asleep. At some point one of us woke up and he went home.

I don’t remember if he called the next day and I don’t recall how soon it was before we got together again. I do know that we really liked each other, and slowly over the next few weeks we each stopped seeing the other people that we were seeing. (I was unaware that he was actually seeing TWO other women- I was just seeing the cokehead, which was an easy relationship to end.) He planned to travel Europe for the summer with yet ANOTHER woman, but by the time he left we’d declared our love and a month into his travels I met up with him in Greece where we subathed nude and ate romantic dinners overlooking the sea. I was 22. And I met my one true love in a bar.

Some day in the future we’ll have to explain this all to our son. Yes my little Fiendling, we met in a bar. Your mommy was a drunk who told dirty jokes and your daddy was a playboy with a goofy ponytail and a stupid bandana.

Happy Anniversary Boyfiend. I love you.