Howard the Cat is being so fucking annoying right now. I was gone for two nights- you’d think he’d been abandoned for months by the way he’s crawling all over me and digging in his claws. I love him dearly, but when he’s overly affectionate he draws blood. I wish I believed in declawing.
The trip to the shore went surprisingly well. Two nights and my mom didn’t insult me once. Instead, her friend did. Dan, an interior designer, looked at me and completely oblivious asked, “Oh, are you expecting again?”
I didn’t realize I look like I’m still pregnant. He tried to soften the blow by telling me how voluptuous I look. Then he told me that my arms were looking big. Thanks, dude. I look pregnant and I have fat arms. This is less than a week after Boyfiend accidentally told me that he loved my big ass. Not my cute ass, or my beautiful ass. He said he loved my BIG ASS. I know that the weight loss benefits of breastfeeding aren’t supposed to kick in for a while, but this is just fucking ridiculous.
This is a pretty accurate picture of what I look like right now. I know I’m still 25 pounds heavier than before, but I really didn’t think I still looked pregnant. Please, tell me I don’t look pregnant.
For comparison shot of how I looked a year ago. From the back. Note the absence of fat arms and big ass.
Compounding my foul mood is the lump I’ve discovered in my armpit. It could be nothing. It could be something. I won’t know until I can make an appointment with a doctor on Tuesday. It’s sort of terrifying, but it could just be an ingrown hair or a cyst or a blocked sweat gland. It’s the size of a pencil eraser. Maybe the size of a kernel of corn. But it’s a lump and I don’t particularly care for undiagnosed lumps. I can’t help but think of the worst. Everything’s been going so well. Something bad is bound to happen.
Doodlebug1012 | 29-May-06 at 9:43 am | Permalink
You don’t look pregnant!
And you don’t have a big ass or fat arms. Dan doesn’t seem to know what a pregnant woman looks like. He also doesn’t seem to have any manners.
I, too, often think that something bad is going to happen to me because my life has been going so well, even though I know it’s not the healthiest of mind sets. It’s awful and understandable that the lump you found is causing you stress, butI bet it’s nothing serious.
Miss Pickle | 29-May-06 at 12:21 pm | Permalink
You do NOT look pregnant. You look pretty damn good for having had a baby a few months ago.
Seriously. Don’t forget that men are usually completely clueles s when it comes to things such as this. You look great!
erika | 29-May-06 at 1:10 pm | Permalink
Darling, I’d almost kill to look like you do right now. Seriously.
Jess | 29-May-06 at 3:20 pm | Permalink
you’ve just sent me to Old Navy.
thank you, angel-of-advice-for-short-people-about-clothes
salynn | 29-May-06 at 6:01 pm | Permalink
Oh my, you look terrific! You most definitely do NOT look pregnant. Holy crap.
Also, it must be said: your wedding dress? BEAUTIFUL. From what I can see of it. Unless the front is bedazzled and decked in giant bows of tulle, it is probably all beautiful.
H0kie Erin | 29-May-06 at 8:42 pm | Permalink
I’m with Erika. I’d kill to look like you. :o)
Boyfiend made a rookie mistake. I’m sure it won’t happen again. The lump will work out ok. Fingers crossed here for you and sending good thoughts.
clipper829 | 29-May-06 at 9:01 pm | Permalink
Well, you definitely don’t look pregnant. Not even a little bit. Every week I find gets a little bit better. I think you look fantastic.
My husband, while telling me how great I look 8 weeks post-partum, excitedly told me he loved my “huge boobs.” Thanks. Men. Oy.
Jennifer | 30-May-06 at 9:03 am | Permalink
I think that you look fantastic. I can only hope to look as great as you do so soon after childbirth. As far as the boyfiend comment about your butt, my boyfriend once told me that if my butt had a cartoon name, it would be GIGANTOR!!! WTF is that?
Fraulein N | 30-May-06 at 11:27 am | Permalink
I hope everything’s okay. And you don’t look pregnant at all.
sarah | 30-May-06 at 2:21 pm | Permalink
you don’t look pregnant. seriously, your mother’s friend is an ass. and those arms? not big.
i get lumpy armpits quite often. generally blocked pores/follicles or boils. gross, i know, but it happens. and i’m glad it happens to skinny people too!
Anonymous | 30-May-06 at 7:30 pm | Permalink
It’s hard to tell from those pictures but of course you can’t possibly expect to look as good now as you did for your wedding. Not so soon after giving birth anyway. Don’t sweat it.
Krystle | 31-May-06 at 2:49 pm | Permalink
You do NOT look Pregnant… So help me god, I look that way in a year… yikes!
Your blog has been quite interesting to read, now that I’m expecting. And …. your arms are far from fat. 
Good luck to you and your arm pit sore, I’m sure it’s nothing. I’ve had that a few times, of course you think the worse… and whatever you do, do not search the net for things like that, it will scare you half to death, for nothing… no worries
girl from florida | 01-Jun-06 at 5:43 pm | Permalink
You have to be kidding me. You look freaking awesome!
Lori | 06-Jun-06 at 9:39 am | Permalink
Please. You look great! In fact, I think you may look a wee bit too thin in that second photo. But that’s just my opinion.