A few months ago, before the Fiendling was born, I emailed Lawmummy asking what she and her husband were considering for school options for their children. At the time they were anticipating sending their girls to a local public school. When I read on her blog that her daughter was interviewing at private schools I started following some of the links and reading some of the archives.
Right around my due date I began to panic about our decision to buy this house. I should preface this by saying that it’s everything either of us want in a house. We both wanted a big house that wasn’t too big. We wanted a house that was old and charming, not new and McMansiony. We wanted a yard with trees and Boyfiend was insistent that we have a garage where he could build things and repair cars. We needed a house in a neighborhood, where we could interact with people and walk places. Our old neighborhood, Fairmount, was perfect in many respects but unfortunately we couldn’t afford a larger house, especially one with a garage. So when we found this house, a beautiful Victorian, with wood floors and crown moulding and leaded glass windows and a second floor parlor with a wood burning stove and a beautiful yard with a detached two car garage in a neighborhood where we can walk to bars, restaurants, the supermarket, coffeeshops, the little Italian bakery, Bob’s Diner, Main Street Manayunk and the Wissahickon, we couldn’t resist. We put in a bid and it was accepted. Then I found out I was pregnant.
Everything sort of happened all at once. I was nauseous and tired and packing and moving and painting and unpacking and then after a short week in the house we went away to the Outer Banks for two weeks and then we were home, here, in our big beautiful house where we planned to raise our first child. Only the house is in the city. And the schools here? Not so hot.
When you live in the city you can either hope your child gets into one of the few good, desirable public schools, send them to Catholic school, or pay lots of money for private school. Catholic schools for me are not an option. I went to Episcopal as a kid and the stigma of being Jewish was too much for me to take by the time I hit fourth grade, so unless it’s a Jewish day school like Akiba, I’d be uncomfortable sending the Fiendling to any school with a religious affiliation. The private schools around here, especially the Quaker schools, are wonderful, but they’re expensive, up to $20,000 a year by high school plus an annual contribution. It’s crazy. And as for the public schools? I worked in Philadelphia public schools and it wasn’t pretty. I know not all of the schools are as a bad as the ones in ghetto North Philly, but frankly it seems risky. And for each of the sweet kids in the neighborhood, there’s a gang of teenage boys spitting and cursing and throwing rocks at Doodlebug’s car window.
I panicked. I spent days researching schools like crazy and trying to figure out if we’d be able to move to the suburbs by the time the Fiendling was school age. If we started him in public school in the city we’d be screwed if we didn’t move soon after, as most of the private schools don’t have openings after pre-kindergarten. It seems ridiculous, but it’s true. Getting your kid into private school is harder then getting them into college these days. Each grade level has just a few openings each year with hundreds of parents fighting to get their kids in. At Episcopal there were only a few “new kids” each year. And Philly schools aren’t terrible in the early elementary years. The balanced literacy program is actually pretty good, but after third grade things get kind of scary. When I taught sixth grade I had a gifted ten-year-old and a sixteen-year-old in the same class. That’s just not safe. But moving? I don’t want to move, I love this house, and Boyfiend really doesn’t want to move. More than anything else he’s against the idea of packing up all of our stuff.
After reading Lawmummy’s posts on Phillyblog I decided I trusted her opinion, so when I learned she was considering the local public school I figured it couldn’t be that bad and basically stopped panicking. But reading about her daughter’s private school interviews made me feel a little less sure of myself. I only have four years if it’s going to be private school, so if we’re going to have another kid, which Boyfiend wants and I’m not so sure about, we’d have to start trying next summer and I’d have to go back work probably before the second child is school-age so we’d have money, which opens up a whole other can of worms.
It’s all a lot to think about, especially since I initially started this post because I wanted to write about my breakfast- frozen Kashi waffles- because somewhere in her archives Kelly wrote that she didn’t understand frozen waffles, and frankly I don’t either. Usually I eat toast and fresh fruit for breakfast during the week (on weekends Boyfiend makes bacon egg and cheese on English muffins for us or sometimes pancakes) but I bought these stupid waffles on a whim months back and they’ve been in my freezer taking up space forever so I decided it was about time for me to eat them. I tried them back when I was pregnant, but they were gross with syrup and butter, so this morning I decided to experiment. I ate the first with apple butter (christ, I made that all the way back in October, it’s about time I ate some) and blueberries and it was surprisingly good. I ate the second with peanut butter, strawberry jelly (made by my father-in-law) with more fresh blueberries and that wasn’t so bad either.
mix | 07-Jun-06 at 10:48 am | Permalink
Holy stream of consciousness Batman!
Coach | 07-Jun-06 at 12:07 pm | Permalink
Gf,
Lawmummy and Lawdaddy have been agonizing about this topic themselves - and they’re right on the brink of it - they don’t want to move - they love their house and neighborhood; they’ve built their business here; and, they are both really involved in the community itself. But their oldest daughter will be 4 this month. She went to daycare downtown when she was quite young, and then out to the Y for a year (2 - 3 years old). They applied to 3 pre-K programs for the fall - Greene Street was their first choice so they were very excited when they got the call.
I’m not sure that they intend to keep the kids in private schools. Lawdaddy and I discussed the “numbers” this winter about how BIG of a house they could buy in the burbs if they didn’t send their kids to private school. But they don’t like the burbs and they want to make living in the city “work”. But, as you mentioned, it’s a lot easier to “get in early” if you do want to go the private route.
Not many of Lawmummy’s neighbors with school age children are sending them to the local school - some are home schooling other “got into” magnate schools.
Doodlebug1012 | 07-Jun-06 at 1:26 pm | Permalink
Mr. Doodlebug and I were just discussing schools last night since he’s on the brink of leaving his high-paying job for one that pays much much less. We should talk.
GinaMarcela | 08-Jun-06 at 9:19 am | Permalink
how about charter schools? my sister, going to 9th grade, just got a letter of acceptance for an elementary charter school, that we signed up back when she was in 3rd grade… the waiting line was about 4 to 5 years behind. You just gave me the great idea to sign up my baby at two or three of those charter schools from now that my baby will turn one. Magnet programs or semi-private are other options.
S. | 08-Jun-06 at 10:23 am | Permalink
Our daughter is starting kindergarten in August, and we’ve decided to go the charter school route. Of course, every state is different when it comes to charter schools, but Arizona is a great believer in them and there are many to choose from here. The thought of the local public schools makes me shudder — and we don’t live in a bad part of town, but schools in the big city just aren’t as good as those in the suburbs.
clipper829 | 08-Jun-06 at 10:39 pm | Permalink
Oh, I could have written this post. Well, most of it. We live in a fantastic old Colonial that I love, but it’s kind of small, so I could see us moving based on that alone, especially if we have another baby. Also, I really think that the schools where I live are pretty terrible all the way around - public, charter, and Catholic. I’ve worked in them and also evaluated them from a state perspective (not the Catholic ones, though, those to be honest I’ve only heard about). Private costs an arm and a leg, and I’d have to drive my daugher at least 30 minutes to the nearest decent private school. Oy indeed.
Oh, and I like the Kashi whole grain frozen waffles. Love them, actually.
Kelly | 14-Jun-06 at 9:43 am | Permalink
I hate Blogger. I wrote a really long response to this and I got an error message. Drat!
Here’s the condensed version:
We haven’t given up on public schools. We applied to private schools for two reasons… One is that there are no public Pre-K programs other than Headstart, which we would not qualify. Katie’s good friend (who turns five this year) is starting school (charter) this year and Katie wants to go to school. I did not want to try daycare again, since I pulled Katie out of the last one due to “issues” so we started looking at preschools that had the option of allowing us to continue for a number of years if we so chose. Two, it’s much easier to make the switch midstream from private to public than from public to private.
I love the City. I want to stay. I want my kids to go to school here and that might mean public school - who knows? It’s tough to know that you’re making the right decision and we don’t know that this is it. We are trying to take it one year at a time.
Cook, our local elementary school, is getting better and better. My friend withdrew her child from there awhile back because of an “incident.” I have always said that I would send my kids to public school so long as they are safe. I was concerned after my friend’s child’s issue so I started exploring other options. But Cook has a new principal, the test scores are on the way up and, most importantly, they are now limiting enrollment to local students. This will make a huge difference.
Also, in Philly, they are introducing three new elementary magnet schools next year. These are the equivalent to Central or Masterman, but on an elementary level. We will definitely look into those when the time comes.
For now, we needed to make a decision about Katie will do for this year. And we did. She will be going to a private pre-K.
I didn’t mean to imply that we would never go to public school because nothing is further from the truth. I’m the product of public school, as is my husband. Several of my good friends went to Philly public schools… One is living in Rome, working for the US Embassy. Two others are living in the City with good jobs and they have kids - the oldest is three and I can tell you that there has been no research into private schools to date.
Please don’t let my post about private schools influence your decisions now. Enjoy Fiendling now. Don’t worry about the finances, etc., because that could change tomorrow. We did not make application to private school (or even seriously consider it) until a few months before Katie’s fourth birthday. We did not worry about the “consequences” of having additional children as it relates to schools, we just went with our hearts (and apparently, my uterus, which had a mind of its own with #3). The money can be considerable, but it will work itself out. And there are still options on the table.
Chris and I have always said that good kids with good parents will do fine, no matter where. I still believe that.
Kelly | 14-Jun-06 at 9:45 am | Permalink
And oh yeah, my numerous typos and my lack of proper grammar has less to do with going to public school and more to do with sleep deprivation due to kid #3.