girlfiend

With all the debate about public nursing, and although Lawmummy probably said it better than I will, I wanted to make sure my opinion was clearly stated. I feed my baby whenever and wherever he’s hungry. I won’t feed my baby in a public bathroom and I refuse to be homebound because I might be offending someone. If it means I have to feed him at a park, in a restaurant, or in the seasonal section of Target sitting in patio furniture, so be it. He’s a baby and he gets hungry about every two hours during the day. Though I prefer not to feed him in public, I usually have to when we’re out. Since my overproduction debacle I’ve had serious difficulty pumping to the tune of not being able to pump anything at all, so bottles aren’t so much an option. But I don’t see how breastfeeding is any more of a liability than giving your kid a bottle or a sippy cup. (Even when my breasts were flowing like a waterfall I didn’t make puddles where I sat.)

The cover of this month’s issue of Baby Talk magazine did not offend me. It’s a baby eating. There’s nothing sexual about it. Let me repeat: There is nothing sexual about it. I’ve never felt less sexy than I have these past few months. I felt more sexy when I was pregnant and sixty pounds heavier than I do now that I have a baby attached to my breast. Breastfeeding isn’t sexy. There’s nothing hot about it. My breasts are not as cute and perky as they once were, and when I’m full of milk they’re lumpy and weird. I don’t want people looking at them, and when I feed the Fiendling in public my intent is not to draw attention to myself or titillate. I don’t know any nursing women who intentionally show off the goods while the baby’s having a snack.

I’ve found that being discreet isn’t all too difficult with a hooter hider or my sling. I can generally nurse without visible boobage if I’m in mixed company. Around close friends and family I don’t care, but in public, I don’t really want people looking at my boobs. And that’s the way I’m pretty sure most nursing mothers feel.

I nurse my child because it’s the best thing for him. If formula was a better choice, I would love to have the luxury of mixing up a bottle and going out for a night on the town without worrying about my two hour window. But it’s been proven over and over that breast is best. Even my father randomly calls me to tell me about some article he’s read about how great it is. My mother-in-law is in nursing school and she’s all excited about the breastfeeding facts she’s learning.

So far I’ve been lucky. Everyone has been incredibly supportive of my choice and only once has someone obviously been offended by my baby’s lunch. I was feeding the Fiendling at a chain restaurant and an older couple, probably in their seventies, stared. The woman stared at the Fiendling’s feet hanging out of the hooter hider and mock-whispered, ” I can’t believe she’s nursing her baby right here.” They left shortly thereafter.

My best experience was at the place I’d least expect- Cracker Barrel. The Fiendling was still teeny-tiny and I’d just fed him in the car in the parking lot. But he was still hungry. So I fed him right in the booth. I felt embarrassed because I didn’t have anything big enough to hide him completely and when the waitress walked by and looked right at me I was afraid she was going to say something negative. Instead she smiled and said, “Aww, how sweet.” I left a big tip.

There’s no question in my mind that breastfeeding is the best choice for me and the Fiendling. I understand that it just doesn’t work for some women and that’s a shame. Whether it’s by breast or by bottle, babies need to eat when they’re hungry, not when it’s convenient. Any person who feels that nursing publicly is offensive, shameful or sexual is an idiot.