Another Halloween post

I was embarrassed about this at first because Boyfiend kept teasing me about it. That’s why I’ve waited so long to post this. But I wonder how many other people have a similar quirk.

I’m a bit picky when it comes to handing out candy to trick-or-treaters. I have rules. I don’t give the same amount of candy to everyone. Children with good costumes, handmade or store bought get a few more snack size bars than those wearing street clothes and a hat dressed as a race car driver. Children with good costumes who say “trick-or-treat” usually get a handful of candy. Children under three only get one piece of candy, regardless of manners or costume, because they don’t need all the sugar and their parents and older siblings are going to eat all of the good stuff anyway. Teenagers in their own clothes who say they’re high school students get two year old tootsie pops, classroom prizes I’d originally purchased for a school-wide activity that was cancelled.

This year, despite my grinch-like adherence to my standards and despite the pre-teens wearing slutty baseball uniforms with the number 69 emblazoned on their backs who said “trick-or-treat” but only got one piece of candy each because they were dressed like skanks, we actually ran out of candy before the last kids passed the house. I’m kind of depressed that I didn’t stash some candy away for later. Next year.