You may recall that back in November, when I got the stomach flu the first time this season, I got a bit obsessed with the Food Network. Today, while the Fiendling* napped I somehow got completely wrapped up in Food Network bashing. I was on Phillyblog in the Food and Drink forum reading a post about Giada vs. Rachael Ray and ended up following a link to a guest post by Anthony Bourdain (a guy previously unknown to me) talking smack about Food Network personalities. Though I don’t agree with everything he writes (I think Paula Deen’s a good time) some of his opinions, especially his opinion of Sandra Dee (yes, she is pure evil), are right on. I ended up getting totally sucked into the more than 500 comments and still haven’t finished reading through them all. The debate is hilarious. Most of the commenters (commentators?) agree with him but some that don’t think he’s just bitter because he’s not as successful as the bobbleheads he describes. Since I’d never even heard of him until following the link to his post on someone else’s blog, I can see their points. (The debate within the comments, sort of reminded me of the war between Rogan and Mencia fans that takes place in the comments of this blogger’s post. I spent more than an hour watching the videos and reading the commentary Saturday night. My weekends are nothing but fun these days.)
The comments at the Bourdain post led me to a similar article from Matt at Deglazed. Matt’s take on the food network chef’s was even more entertaining than Bourdain’s. Again, I don’t agree with everything he writes, but dude, Bobby Flay is a cock and Rachael Ray is indeed a whore who makes buying Ritz crackers an altogether unpleasant experience. Here’s a quote from his piece about why Rachael Ray sucks.
-EVOO - Extra Virgin Olive Oil. That’s what she actually calls it: “E-V-O-O, Extra Virgin Olive Oil”. Note, I did NOT say she calls it “E-V-O-O.” If she just stopped there, it would be merely stupid. But she goes all the way to the level of “taking the short bus to school” by using the acronym, and then spelling out what it means for us right after. WHY?!? What is the point of using an acronym if you are then going to say what it means right after it? Pick one or the other! I don’t go around saying, “Yeah, I need some money from the ATM - automatic teller machine, but I can’t remember my PIN - personal identification number, so I guess I can’t check on the balance of my CD - certificate of deposit.” I would sound like a retard, and thus, I guess be eligible for my own cooking show.
Matt, in a different post, also linked to this Rachael Ray drinking game, which I can’t wait to try some time when I’m not on mom duty.
Today in my internet travels I learned that Sandra Lee probably slept her way to the top, Michael Chiarello isn’t (as I’d assumed based on his bizarre show where he invites young college guys over for dinner) gay, and monkeys (well, terry cloth monkeys )can make truffles. I was also reminded of the Two Fat Ladies and Ming Tsai, both shows that I loved that the food network can’t be bothered with any more.
* I need new pseudonyms. I’m sick of typing Boyfiend and Fiendling and initials are lame- suggestions?
mix | 20-Feb-07 at 10:48 pm | Permalink
I dig Anthony Bourdain. I watch his show “No Reservations” all the time.
Nicole | 21-Feb-07 at 2:01 pm | Permalink
Yeah, I love Anthony Bourdain. I love that he smokes through his entire shows on food. And that he’ll eat anything.
I think I just read he’s expecting a baby.
thatnervousgirl | 21-Feb-07 at 3:19 pm | Permalink
Ha! My boyfriend and I are known to sit there and diss on the food network celebs - I don’t know why it’s so compelling to do it, but it just happens! We do like Anthony Bourdain most of the time though - he’s on the Travel Channel now and his show is really good. Every time we watch Sandra Lee I just think she’s got to be the uppity neighborhood gossip who tries to blow all her friend’s husbands as soon as their backs are turned. I know - I’m bad.
Shana | 21-Feb-07 at 3:31 pm | Permalink
Oh, I LOVE Bourdain. His show is much more entertaining than anything on FN. His books are great as well. Sandra Lee is truly the devil. Sometimes I watch just for the sheer awfulness of it all. I think she has her own private “cocktail time” through the entire show, not just during that segment.
Madgirl | 22-Feb-07 at 12:09 pm | Permalink
Agreed - Sandra is evil - she really is. Do you remember when Mrs. Fields had a cooking/decorating show? It was very similar -and just as painful -Paula’s food is, generally, just as “semi homemade” and she does like to add in a few “decorating ideas” - but it doesn’t bother me - perhaps it’s the butter.
I will admit that I adore Tyler Florence (although he’s totally commercial now as well) - or at least the old Tyler’s Ultimate (he was always jetting off to France) - I met him at a book signing/cooking demonstration and, from what I remember (as I was totally star struck) he was super nice. His cookbooks are kinda crap - but I did get the world’s best recipe for pork bbq from Eat This Book.
Empress Juju | 22-Feb-07 at 1:49 pm | Permalink
I love the Two Fat Ladies, too… sadly, one of the fat ladies died a few years ago, and so no more show.
One Fat Lady is not enough.
andrea | 22-Feb-07 at 10:43 pm | Permalink
Empress Juju beat me to it- the sad news that one of the Fat Ladies died. Anthony Bourdain is a riot- “A Cook’s Tour” is a fun read. He’s so crusty and arrogant, and I totally love that he smokes and drinks through all of his shows.
Mario? Hate him. Sandra? I HATE the freaking crinkle sound of all her damn ziploc bags through her whole show. Plus, she doesn’t look like she actually eats anything she makes.
Paula Dean’s sons are kind of hot and have that sexy Southern charm thing going on.
And I know Giada is beautiful, but her head is too big for her body.
You know who I used to really hate was Sarah what’s her face- former editor of Gourmet magazine. She was always really rude to her guests and callers. She certainly fell off the face of the earth.
I liked the Naked Chef- goofy English boys are quite engaging.
Food Network- it’s all about the dishing, isn’t it?
girlfiend | 23-Feb-07 at 8:09 am | Permalink
Sadly, I knew about the fat lady dying. I just wish the food network would rerun the show. They rerun old Emeril and he’s annoying.
The Naked Chef is a hottie. Did you ever hear the story about when he burned himself in a bad place cooking naked for his wife on Valentine’s Day? I also like him because he’s really involved in school food in England, trying to get kids to eat healthy, delicious food instead of fishsticks.
Tyler is pretty hot, too. I like his show when I catch it and his recipes seem all right.
Mario doesn’t bother me in theory, and I respect that the Silver Spoon cookbook published some of his recipes, but I hate that he defended RR in newsweek.
Paula Deen’s sons are cute and their show is fun to watch.
I guess I’m going to have to start watching that Bourdain show since you all like him so much.
Tony | 26-Feb-07 at 2:42 pm | Permalink
Read Kitchen Confidential. Bourdain’s great. What’s funny about his books is that he doesn’t really claim he’s an awesome chef and admits that he’s a jerk. I’ve never seen him or really any food network shows. I’m kind of against the FN because my mother in law seemingly refuses to try a recipe unless she saw it there, and everytime we eat over there, she brags about her dishes, “This is from Tyler Florence” with Tyler Florence in ultra italics. Like I really care.
The only decent food shows are on PBS on Saturdays. Reruns of Julia, Jaques Pepin, Lidia, and that dweeby Christopher Kimble from America’s Test Kitchen (you may have inferred I don’t have cable).