{ 2007 05 28 }

The first weekend at the shore

We arrived Friday evening and made it through until late Sunday morning without any major fights. Saturday my mom watched the Fiendling who can’t go to the beach until the cast is off while Boyfiend and I enjoyed a few relaxing hours by the ocean. She was still incredibly annoying. Boyfiend says she’s crazy and until I truly accept she’s crazy she’ll continue to annoy me. Here are some of the exchanges that infuriated amused me over the weekend.

After learning the Fiendling isn’t much of a meat eater my mother said, “What do you mean he doesn’t like meat? If you don’t start making him eat meat he’s going to be a lazy chewer.”

Upon being offered a delicious coconut cupcake she responded, “I don’t like coconut.”
“But Mom, you drink pina coladas and eat Mounds bars.”
“That’s different though. It’s processed coconut.”

My mother told Boyfiend, “I’ve given up soda. It was very hard for me.” I did not tell her that I’d seen two cans of Pepsi beside her bed nor did I look under the bed to see if that was where she stashed the case of soda.

My mom asked, “Why did you bring all of those coconut cupcakes anyway?” I said, “I wouldn’t have brought them if I knew you stopped eating coconut.” She said, “It’s not that I don’t like coconut, I just don’t eat crap anymore.” “Mom, you ate a croissant for breakfast that contains more than 40 ingredients, at least 7 of those ingredients were various kinds of sugars and hydrogenated oils and your breakfast sausage contains nitrates and MSG. When we’re not here you eat Fiddle Faddle for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  Just try the damn cupcake.”

After telling three different people about how I was marinating vegetables for a grilled vegetable salad made with spinach from my garden and goat cheese (mmmm. goat cheese) my mother refused to try any. “I don’t like roasted vegetables.” “You have a half empty container of roasted peppers in your refrigerator.” “That’s different.” But the salad is made with red and orange pepper. “It’s still different. I like roasted red peppers. I don’t like vegetables.”

Boyfiend says that once I truly accept she’s crazy I’ll be able to ignore her inane statements because you just don’t reason with a crazy person. He may be right.

Posted by girlfiend on Monday, May 28th, 2007, at 9:35 am, and filed under family, odds and ends.

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