The Fiendling’s been going through yet another fucking sleep regression where he won’t go to sleep and he wakes in the night and every time he falls asleep on me or Boyfiend he wakes up as soon as we try to put him down, either on the crib or on our bed. How does anyone ever have more than one kid? Seriously, this is awful. I know there’s an 18 month sleep regression, but he’s 19 and a half months old and the last sleep regression, the 16 month sleep regression no one told me about, lasted more than month.
For the past hour and a half I’ve been trying to get him to sleep and all I want to do is go back to Boyfiend’s birthday party, which was supposed to be a happy hour because I didn’t want to feel bad when I had to go at 8 to put the Fiendling to bed. I knew we couldn’t have a party here because of the stupid sleep thing, so Mix had it at his house and now everyone’s there having fun and I’m here listening to the Fiendling cry. He’s been asleep, snoring even, three times already.
On top of it, there are ants in my kitchen. We went to the pumpkin patch this morning for a hayride and lunch and I got rear-ended on the way home. The Fiendling fell asleep in the car but woke up as soon as the car stopped 25 minutes later and of course, because of this stupid 19 and half month sleep regression he wouldn’t go back to sleep. So I tried to make icing for the birthday cake (I’m not currently enjoying at the party) with a fussy, tired toddler climbing on the fucking window sills. I had chocolate and butter melting in the double boiler when he took off upstairs. I was too far gone to stop what I was doing so I had to wait about three minutes to finish stirring and take it off the heat. When I got upstairs he’d figured out how to unlatch the laptop and had ripped off three keys. One, the up arrow, is still missing. When I got downstairs I realized the kitchen sink was covered in ants. I think they’re coming in through the window.
I called Boyfiend because I was downstairs, didn’t want to go upstairs to get on the up arrow-less laptop to see if it was baking powder or baking soda that’s supposed to keep them out. I got an answer, baking soda, and poured it all over the cracks of the window, killed every ant in sight, washed my hands and the surfaces thoroughly and iced the cake which was a whole other nightmare with a still miserable tired kid.
Hours later, the ants are back in full force. The baking soda didn’t do shit. They’re everywhere. On the stove, in the sink, everywhere, and I’m so grossed out. Of course we don’t have any chemicals in the house because of the fucking environment and baby-proofing, but I did manage to find a small bit of Fantastik near the cat litter so I sprayed the shit out of every ant in sight, hoping any new ones would see their kin dying painfully in a puddle of all-purpose spray.
I suppose it’s time to try to get the Fiendling to sleep again. Wish me luck.
Elizabeth Jones | 19-Oct-07 at 10:45 pm | Permalink
I feel your pain about the sleep thing. We had ants for about two months straight back in the spring/early summer. I turned into a complete neat-freak, trying to rid the kitchen of any speck of food and washing the high chair every night. We tried baking soda and Austin tried sealing off any little spaces where it looked like they were coming in. Every night, they’d be all over the place again.
Finally, we called the pest control guy. He found the ant hill outside and sprayed a barrier around our house. It is the kind of stuff they use on termites and it is probably horrible for the environment, but we haven’t seen an ant in months. I hate ants.
Nicole | 20-Oct-07 at 2:28 pm | Permalink
Truly, the sleep thing makes me think we’re never having another kid.
In our house, it’s the fucking fruit flies. I have tried every natural killer I could find, but now I vacuum those suckers up. Try it with the ants; maybe it will work for them too. I’m a maniac with the vacuum.
lisamechelle | 20-Oct-07 at 6:02 pm | Permalink
In our house it’s mice. So many fucking mice I want to burn my house down. Seriously.
And my heart goes out to you with the Fiendling. I’d say “it’ll pass,” but that doesn’t mean shit when you’re dead-assed tired and frustrated.
Erin | 20-Oct-07 at 7:16 pm | Permalink
We’ve got the fruit flies too. I hope the fiendling turns it around soon for your sake (and his but really I mean yours.)
Jonathan Hatch | 21-Oct-07 at 1:45 pm | Permalink
I’m Natasha’s boyfriend. I wrote an article about ants. Go here: http://www.getridofthings.com/get-rid-of-ants.htm
That might help. If it doesn’t, go to the hardware store and pick up a big jug of “Sevin” or Dursban and spray that shit all over the motherfucking outside of your house. If your child gets sick, you can sue Sevin and live happily every after on the settlement proceeds.
-J
Doodlebug | 21-Oct-07 at 5:47 pm | Permalink
I’m sorry the Fiendling isn’t sleeping well. It is frustrating and makes me want to pull your hair out when baby Doodle doesn’t sleep.
The cake was delicious. I hope you ate the entire second half and enjoyed every minute of it.
Film-Chick | 23-Oct-07 at 2:32 pm | Permalink
I have zero experience with babies, but try cinnamon for the ants. When they were redoing the planters around our condo complex, we had ants coming in under the kitchen sink. I sprinkled cinnamon in the cabinet and around the sink/faucets and they wouldn’t cross the line. Plus it smelled nice.
Katie | 23-Oct-07 at 6:49 pm | Permalink
I am so sorry to hear about your sleeping troubles! My baby is much younger, but I was having a lot of trouble with his sleeping early on. I was willing to try anything to get a couple of hours’ sleep. I read every book on the topic and they all seemed to say the same thing — they have to self soothe to be able to sleep well on their own. Suggestions for helping him learn to self soothe all seem to include some kind of crutch — a thumb, pacifier, blankie, stuffed animal… We are all sleeping a lot better since my son started sucking his thumb.
And as far as ants, the only thing I would say is NOT to bother with traps. No matter how many you kill in the trap there are always more that find their way into the house.
Good luck on both fronts!
Gabbiana | 23-Oct-07 at 10:06 pm | Permalink
Not being a parent I cannot offer any useful advice at all re: the Fiendling. However, I can offer *you* the following nouns: Earplugs. Alcohol. Uh, benadryl? (You, not him. Or you *and* him, but with a heckuva difference in dose. Consult a real doctor, etc etc.)
For bugs I’ve got boric acid scattered around the kitchen (under the fridge, under the sink, etc). Less than useful for a house with pets/kids (though boric acid isn’t supposed to be especially bad for us mammals, I’m not sure I’d chance it). Let us know if the cinnamon works; that sounds delicious.
Pigs | 28-Oct-07 at 7:26 pm | Permalink
Ugh. I’m sorry. You know I have no useful suggestions, just general empathy. We have lizards, but I’ll take those over ants.
bree | 07-May-08 at 11:49 am | Permalink
use diatomaceous earth (can be bought at home depot or pool supplies) for your ant problems. Safe around kids and pets- you’ll think it was sent from the heavens.