girlfiend

My mom rented her apartment in the city to a pilot which means that when she’s in town she either has to stay with me or her sister. Last time she stayed with her sister. Last night she stayed with me and she’s here again tonight. I appreciate that she watches the baby while I go to the gym, but I wish she had a place of her own in the city.

I mean she makes me inexplicably angry. All of her mannerisms, her choice of language and the way she speaks, her negativity and irritating habits all just make me want to shake her. When she uses the phrase “wet my whistle” for wanting a drink, keppy(or would it be ceppy?) for head, soldiers for shoulders or nibbles for nipples I can barely contain my rage. I hate that she insists that toys and characters in books (who already have names) be renamed after the Fiendling and our family. Even more I hate that when the Fiendling calls one of his toys by his cousin’s name after her prodding she has to correct him and tell him, “No, your cousin’s hair is dark. This one is Grandmom. That one is your cousin.”

Anyway, she annoys me. And she always manages to fuck something up. I don’t know how or why or even remember if it was always this bad or if it just keeps getting worse, but it’s always something.  This time her stupid dog freaked out.

The last time he was here he growled at the Fiendling then ran away the next day. After Boyfiend found him and my mom retrieved him my mother decided that even though he was a skittish rescue dog who had run away twice and growled at her grandson he was fine and didn’t need any further training. Why did she make the decision not to hire a dog trainer? The dog started to follow her around the house, she no longer had to carry him from room to room. The dog is still terrified of everyone but her. He won’t even eat or drink like an animal, she has to hold the bowl for him while he sits on the sofa.  So crazy.

Last night when she arrived the dog growled at the Fiendling again. Later in the evening he growled at him some more. Today my mom went to the dentist while I took the Fiendling out for a nap. When I got back the dog was just sitting on the sofa. I sat with him for a while until the Fiendling woke up. When I brought the still sleepy, cuddly Fiendling inside the dog growled again. The Fiendling waved at him from across the room. The dog snapped at him. I decided the dog shouldn’t be in the room with all of the toys so I went to move him off of the couch. The stupid dog bit me (he didn’t break the skin). He growled each time I approached him so I just ignored him and kept the Fiendling away. Boyfiend got home not too long after. I explained the predicament. Boyfiend made a move to remove the dog from the couch and the dog snapped even more angrily than before and ran out of the room.

I like dogs, but I don’t like this one. I didn’t like him the first time he growled at my kid and I like him even less now. My mother (and her sister and my cousin) all have this bad habit of dragging their dogs everywhere they go. Uninvited. After she leaves tomorrow my mother’s dog is not allowed in my house.  If she’s staying here she’ll have to find another place for her dog to stay.