Mix keeps telling me I’m neglecting this blog in favor of my food blog and my boob blog, and it’s true. I was thinking about another year end retrospective and while browsing through the archives I saw that the last few months have been especially pathetic post-wise. I really just haven’t felt like posting.
Since September I’ve been depressed, the most depressed I’ve been since Boyfiend and I broke up in 2003. After the best summer I’ve ever had, a summer with beach vacations, fewer fights with my mom, tons of fresh fruits and vegetables from my CSA, farmers markets and my own garden, happy hours with friends, and many margaritas I peed on a stick and learned I was pregnant just a few weeks after Boyfiend went back to work.
The first week or two wasn’t too terrible. I worked part-time at the bagel place to help out my old boss and my mom came in to babysit. But then I didn’t have anymore babysitters and had to stop working, morning sickness struck with a vengeance, and the Fiendling stopped sleeping through the night again. The wisdom of a second pregnancy eluded me. I didn’t know what the fuck I was thinking getting pregnant when my toddler was such a shitty sleeper and didn’t really want to talk about how depressed I was because of a planned pregnancy. I felt selfish. So many women try so hard to have babies and can’t, and here I was pregnant after two months of unprotected sex and miserable about it.
We didn’t tell anyone about it for another two months. Many of our friends figured it out since I wasn’t drinking (no one seemed to buy my alcoholism excuse for refusing drinks) but we didn’t confirm their suspicions until right around Thanksgiving when I hit the second trimester, my belly exploded, most of the morning sickness ceased, and the Fiendling finally started sleeping a little better. Since then I’ve been feeling better. My depression about being pregnant has faded into acceptance and while I fear for my sanity I’m not quite as terrified as I was a few months ago.
We’re going to have another baby in May. I’m 20 weeks pregnant right now. We’re not finding out the gender and we have no idea what we’re going to do about where the new baby will sleep. Our house is big enough, but it may require some renovation. I really miss margaritas and I really miss happy hour.
But aside from these last few depressing months 2007 was a pretty good year. Boyfiend and I are lucky to have such a smart, sweet boy and another on the way. Let’s hope 2008 is just as good. Stay tuned for posts about swollen ankles, a big belly, and a fat ass.
Happy New Year!
tiffany | 01-Jan-08 at 11:57 am | Permalink
second pregnancys are hard, feel free to complain.
lisamechelle | 01-Jan-08 at 4:27 pm | Permalink
oh. my. gosh. 5 months and you didn’t tell us?! And you’re right, second pregnancies are a little harder to conceal. Good luck, and bitch away! That’s what blogs are for.
Chris Lehmann | 01-Jan-08 at 5:10 pm | Permalink
Complain away… We have crazy stories about our second pregnancy, so we won’t mind.
mrs t | 01-Jan-08 at 7:56 pm | Permalink
Congratulations! I’ve been waiting for this post!
Complain all you want, really.
There is no point to an alcohol free margarita, but the alcohol free beers are not bad- Kaliber is pretty good.
Depression is a hard fight and I’m sure all the more daunting with a diminished energy level now that you are growing another baby.
soula | 01-Jan-08 at 8:05 pm | Permalink
Congratulations! and happy new year! here is hoping 2008 is wonderful for you and your growing family
martha | 01-Jan-08 at 8:21 pm | Permalink
Congratulation!
You are allowed to complain as much as you want. I am looking forward to your post.
Fraulein N | 01-Jan-08 at 8:51 pm | Permalink
Congrats! Glad you’re feeling a bit better about it now, although of course you’re allowed to feel however the hell you want.
Dawn B | 01-Jan-08 at 11:41 pm | Permalink
Holy cow!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! And you are going to be fine. It always is.
Much love and happiness your way for 2008!!! (oh and hey, at least you don’t have to be pregnant in the midst of summer!! lol)
amber | 02-Jan-08 at 12:18 am | Permalink
I have been hounding your blog over the last few days just WAITING for you to confirm or deny the whole pregnant thing! I’m an official blog stalker.
Congratulations. Oh my heck, second pregnancies with a toddler SUCK SUCK SUCK, and I do not blame you one bit for feeling less than 100 percent about it.
When I found out I was pregnant again in December 2006 and started telling people about it, my standard line was: 2007 is going to pretty much suck, but 2008 is SO MY YEAR.
We’ll see, eh?
The good news is: I set my expectations SO LOW for having another baby that I have been very pleasantly surprised this time around.
Um, but also: I know your blog isn’t about me (SHOCK OF ALL SHOCKERS), and the real point of mine in all this rambling is that if you want to e-mail chat about things or whatever, feel free to you know, as the kids say, hit me up. Or whatever. (IS that what the kids say? It occurs to me that I am kind of old all of the sudden).
PS Maybe I could ask YOU some questions about child-led weaning, because after I read some about it on your other blog, I was intrigued and decided to put solids off for awhile.
soula | 02-Jan-08 at 4:32 pm | Permalink
btw- it seems that you and pigs (from the blog worldofpig) seem to always be pregnant at the same time.
Kelly | 02-Jan-08 at 10:17 pm | Permalink
Hooray.
It gets better. And I’ll help Bob pack margarita fixins so that you can mix one as you’re wheeling out of the hospital…
Pigs | 03-Jan-08 at 8:13 pm | Permalink
Yeah, we’re on a matching schedule of being knocked up, you always slightly ahead of me. I can’t believe you waited this long to out yourself. Denial, I think. We can whine together. And I’m still morning sick, so pooh on you.
Miss Pickle | 08-Jan-08 at 10:46 am | Permalink
Wow!! How’d you keep it secret for so long!?!
Congratulations on your pregnancy, and Happy New Year!
Elizabeth Jones | 08-Jan-08 at 11:30 pm | Permalink
Congratulations!
karmajenn | 10-Jan-08 at 11:27 am | Permalink
I was completely oblivious…congratulations! (I know some days it doesn’t feel like congratulations, does it?) Amazing keeping it a secret that long…I guess at some point, the belly just gives a girl away.
P.S. Looks like we’re going to be in tandem again, although you’ve got a good edge on me. Ayii!
Gabbiana | 21-Jan-08 at 9:59 pm | Permalink
Dude, I am the world’s biggest jerk. CONGRATULATIONS! And I’m glad you’re feeling better. Also, in my humble (childless) opinion, you are hella-allowed to complain about pregnancy, and especially on a BLOG. There are hormones, there is increased bladder pressure, there are floral prints. Go for it.