Of course I’ve been back on the messageboards since I got pregnant. I’ve stayed away from the baby names boards thus far, stuck with the mainstream board, and found a couple of crunchier boards. The crunchier boards aren’t nearly as insane/white trash as the mainstream board which means there’s a lot less to make fun of. But don’t worry. I still check in on the crazy ladies from my old board every so often.
Because so many of the women on the old March ‘06 board are batshit crazy there have been several shakeups and breakups in the past few years since we were all pregnant together. The board’s now down to just a few dozen of the original women and a few new people after a few splits where women went off to form their own boards. There’s still a ton of infighting and rage with the few members left which means lots of entertainment for me. One of the latest fight threads was because a few Christians on the board felt like their opinions were discounted. Yes, that’s right. The Christians felt persecuted.
Anyway, I just wanted to update you on a few names I will not be selecting for baby #2
- Audrianna Abiah Gabryl
- Montana Anthonie
- Dylan Micheal
The first name wouldn’t be so bad if she’d just picked Audrey or Anna, but combining the two is just silly. I don’t even know what Abiah is about and I don’t want to ask. And Gabryl? What ever happened to spelling things properly?
Montana, as state names go, isn’t the worst. I mean at least the kid’s not named Jersey. But Anthonie? Again, just spell it properly. The “ie” doesn’t make it unique, it just makes the parent look stupid.
Dylan is another name that doesn’t bother me. It’s a fine name, a classic name. It’s not one of my favorites, but it certainly doesn’t offend. But again with the stupid spelling of the middle name. It looks like a typo, not a choice. It’s Michael people, not Mike-eel.
Guy | 04-Jan-08 at 2:15 pm | Permalink
ABIAH- means the Lord is my Father
mrs t | 04-Jan-08 at 5:45 pm | Permalink
My mom used to direct the daycare in our school district’s teen parenting program. Has SHE got the names! One of our faves was “Hedia”, supposed to be “Heidi”. We of course take great delight in pronouncing it “Hedia”. I HATE the creative name spelling. In France and Germany, I believe, they actually have laws preventing people from engaging in such stupidity. No traditional boys’ names given to girls and vice-versa, no made-up names, no dumb-ass spellings.
I’m kinda glad we have no such laws, as it definitely gives us all so much fodder.
Erin | 04-Jan-08 at 7:45 pm | Permalink
Oh, the names. I came across some real winners when I was teaching in the city but they hardly hold a candle to some of the ones I come across on my preg message board.
Except the kid I had in class named Lingerie. Pronounced like, well, lingerie. Poor kid.
Dawn B | 04-Jan-08 at 11:03 pm | Permalink
Nobody offered the name “MayOnnaise”???? That’s a real one btw… LOL
Dawn B | 04-Jan-08 at 11:04 pm | Permalink
or “Precious”????
girlfiend | 05-Jan-08 at 8:43 am | Permalink
I had 3 different students named Precious. I was always reminded of the Silence of the Lambs.
Lingerie is a new one to me. Classy.
But the creative spellings where you’re just supposed to intuit the pronunciation drive me nuts. How was I supposed to know Myrek was prounced My-Reek? Or Y”King was prounced Joaquin?
lisamechelle | 05-Jan-08 at 10:09 am | Permalink
I think I have a winner. Larry’s aunt-in-law is a teacher and she said one of her student’s names is Lemonjelo (pronounced le-mawn-gel-o). It seems her mom had no idea what to name her until she had lemon jello for dinner one day. Go figure.
mrs t | 05-Jan-08 at 11:40 am | Permalink
I went to school with a girl named Precious. She had a sister named Princess. They both went by their middle names.
I’ve had a Tata. Pronounced like ta-ta, as in flash them bodacious. Our school currently has a Tete (pronounced tay-tay)
My mom had an “Allahiswishes”, which was supposed to be Aloicious. Now I’m not even sure how to spell it.
One poor teen mom who was borderline hillbilly named her daughter Kendra Eula May and her son was Rex Allen Jr. Was the father’s name Rex Allen? Uh, no. Junior was just part of his name.
One girl’s name was Nevaeh (Neh-vay-uh). Yep. It’s “Heaven” backwards. Which would literally be what? Hell?
There’s a family of Tomasina, Tomaricka and Tommy.
We’ve got a kid named Passion. He’s about as passionate as lint.
I once had a big, dopey kid named Mercury. I saw him loping along to school one day- late, eating fried chicken. He’s as mercurial as molasses.
My personal fave? K’Voscia. (pronounced like “ka-vah-see-ay”. As in Courvoisier? As in that’s what your drink of choice was when you got knocked up?)
Sorry for being such a comment hog.
Katie | 05-Jan-08 at 8:37 pm | Permalink
My mom used to work at a community college and had a student named Latrine. As in toilet. What was her mom thinking? Why didn’t anyone at the hospital tell her that was a bad idea?
Iris | 06-Jan-08 at 9:49 pm | Permalink
My friend’s sister named her kid Wrigley. After the field.
Here’s some good reading: http://www.namenerds.com/uucn/advice/urbanlegends.html
Erin | 09-Jan-08 at 4:15 pm | Permalink
I think I told you this before but I also had a student named CashMoney. As a first name. CashMoney M—-y. That poor kid.