girlfiend

I save everything for the last minute, so even though I had a four day weekend to get stuff done, I woke up in a panic. It was eleven o’clock and I needed to get Boyfiend to his car, buy groceries, clean the house, and do lesson plans for the week all before yoga at four. I somehow managed to clean the house, stop at Pep Boys with Boyfiend, listen to Russell Banks read his story “The Moor“ on This American Life, have lunch with E and buy and put away groceries by 3.45, leaving me 15 minutes to change for yoga and walk to the gym when I discovered Phyllis’ new spot.

Remember how I was thankful for my standoffish orange cat the other day? I take it back. The little bitch has found a new spot to piss. It’s just not normal. Boy cats are supposed to spray, not females. She’s not supposed to piss on my Tiffany lamp, spraying the entire wall behind it with urine. I shouldn’t have to skip yoga so I can wash dried urine off the table, lamp and floor. I hate her sometimes, I do. On days like this I dream about driving her to a farm in the country and leaving her there. Then I feel incredibly guilty for wanting to abandon her. How will I react when my kids don’t want to be toilet trained?