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Spam

At some point someone hacked my blog. Nothing showed up on the blog itself so aside from some things that had been broken and I couldn’t figure out how to fix I had no idea. But some nice guy emailed me to tell me that he found my blog searching for webmaster tools and the source code showed a ton of invisible spam links. I attempted to upgrade my version of wordpress myself and failed miserably so I recruited Mix who patiently worked through it all with me. Friday night, Mix, Boyfiend and I spent the evening searching for cars and upgrading wordpress. We’re party animals.

We found and deleted the invisible links, upgraded to WP 2.whatever it is these days and all was well. Until yesterday when I checked my stats and saw I had something like a kajillion page views from people searching for ring tones. I followed the referrer pages to the various Google searches. Each search landed me on the front page of the blog- no mention of N@kia, Ericcs@n, or T-M@bile to be found. Viewing the source code also showed nothing. I went back to the Google searches and viewed the cached pages. Somehow, whoever hacked my blog was able to actually replace it with something else entirely.

Freaky shit. Anyway, it seems to be fixed now. The cache is still screwy, but I can’t find anything in the site itself. I feel sorry for the people who have come here searching for Christian ring tones. They are definitely in the wrong place.

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Weird

Last night I was checking my various blog stats and my page views here were way higher than usual. This is not an especially popular blog. I can’t speak for the number of people who read the RSS feeds, but I generally have between 30 and 50 visitors a day and a slightly higher number of page views. On the weekends the numbers tend to drop. The same is true for the other updated blogs I write, though the numbers are definitely lower. My most popular blog of the others is the breastfeeding blog and I only tend to average 15 visits a day during the week and maybe 5 or 6 during the weekend.

But back to this blog. Yesterday I had an average number of unique visits but the page views were nuts. 36 visitors and more than 300 page views. I checked out the details and saw that someone local who got here from my never updated 50 Books blog and read at least three years worth of posts in order. And they were still reading! As I refreshed the page I could see what time period they were up to. It was fascinating. I was intrigued and horrified. They’d been reading for an hour and a half when I first started obsessing and kept going for another hour.

I know it’s not unusual to read through someone’s archives. I’ve found bloggers I liked and started back at the beginning to catch up. And I’ve noticed people reading through all my archives in the past.  But most of those people lived in other places. It’s weird when that person lives in the same city. I hope that if it’s someone I know they leave a comment or send an email to say hi.

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Delurk

Because I saw it over at Fraulein’s place I’m going to completely ignore the fact that I’ve been neglecting this blog in favor of posting recipes and stuff about boobs and banned books at my numerous other blogs and beg you to come out from behind your feed readers and say hello in the comments.

Or something. You don’t have to say hi. You can tell me about your boobs. Or a recipe. Or a good book you’ve read. Or you could just tell me to shut up about comments and tell you a funny story about my mother. Anyway, comment away. My self-esteem depends on it.

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Again with the bullets

  • Farm to Philly is live and it’s really, really pretty. Take a look around. Even if you’re not local there’s probably something of interest.
  • About a week ago, maybe longer, I realized that I can no longer fit into my pants comfortably. I’ve been vacationing way too hard. So I drank a couple of beers and bought a skirt with an elastic waist. I may regret this decision come winter, when I don’t fit into anything without an elastic waist. Sadly, now that Boyfiend’s back at school the party will probably come to an end anyway.
  • But I’ve been eating well. I’m currently signed up for the September Eat Local Challenge. The rules are easy.

    1. Eat one meal per week during the month of September that is made using locally grown ingredients. Non-local oil and spices are allowed.
    2. Can, freeze, dry, or otherwise preserve two things during the month.
    3. Utilize one new resource for locally grown food during September - that could be a new restaurant, farmer’s market, etc.

    Sign up at Farm to Philly if you’re interested. Or check out the hardcore challenge hosted by the Eat Local Challenge site and the Locavores. I am not that hardcore, but it is nice to feel good about what I eat. Even when I can’t button my pants.

  • Tonight’s meal was almost a contender for my meal of the week. Chicken Enchiladas with fresh corn on the cob and steamed Swiss Chard. But the tortillas weren’t local and I just wasn’t up to making them myself. I’ll have to plan for something later in the week. I have potatoes that need to be used, so I may make gnocchi.
  • Other things that are local? The tomatoes, peppers, green beans, herbs, and eggplants (that haven’t been attacked by wildlife) from my garden. I’m already planning for next year. Many changes will be made.
  • The vodka watermelon did not work out as planned, but there was still vodka watermelon. I cut it up into chunks, let it soak in vodka for a day, froze it, then pureed it. At first I served it as it was, later I added seltzer, later still I added Trader Joe’s 100% raspberry juice. The raspberry juice also makes a nice addition to Margaritas made with mix (we ran out of limes and lime juice). The raspberry juice is a little tart and not too sweet. It balances the supersweet mix nicely.
  • I’m going back to work at the bagel place a couple of days this week and next. My old boss emailed me, desperate. My mom’s coming in to babysit while I’m at work. This could end badly- the part with my mom, not the part about me working there again. I wonder if Jessica Wakefield’s still working there.
  • Rosh Hashanah’s next week. I invited a bunch of people, only two of whom have responded. The rest of you are slackers, especially if you’re reading this right now. Open your email and write me back, bitches. There will be brisket and it will be delicious.
  • I have hobbies
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    Who?

    As Natasha said, I caved to the devil that is Facebook so if you get a random friend request from a name you don’t recognize it very well may be me.

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    I will bitch about this on the internet and just keep hitting the delete button in real life

    I keep getting email forwards (that I first saw back in 1998) from a woman who I don’t know very well but like very much. I want to tell her she’s not a 60 year old woman in Florida but since I hardly know her I don’t know how to say it. I should also mention that the last time I asked someone to stop forwarding me crap the guy went out of his way to send me forwards with cats and babies just to spite me.

    The emails are of the “you will have 15 years of bad luck if you don’t send these blinking fairies to everyone you know,” variety. Others contain very witty statements by women that you’re supposed to forward to other women because it will supposedly make their day. I assure you that my day was not made by reading

    Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut the bitch up with cookies.

    The pink emails with bad cartoons (not pictured so as not to blind you) aren’t the worst. The ones that bug me the most are the “current” emails that reek of “pro-American, anti- everybody else, God is good, soldiers are good, Muslims are bad and everyone who thinks Muslims should be free to practice their religion in our country is a communist” sentiment. The ones that bug me are the ones that no one who actually knows me would ever forward unless they were forwarding them so we could make fun of the person who sent them together. Emails like this one:

    How the phone should be answered……

    Rules for the phone.

    How ALL business phones SHOULD be answered!

    GOOD MORNING, WELCOME TO THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA .

    Press “1″ for English.


    Press “2″ to disconnect until you learn to speak English

    And remember only two defining forces have ever
    offered to die for you,

    Jesus Christ

    and the American Soldier.


    One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.


    If you agree……keep it going

    I mean seriously, it’s bad enough that I’m Jewish and she’s sending me Jesus dying on the cross, but the racist overtones? And the fucking clip art? I don’t know if it will work with my cut and paste job here, but the actual email has blinkies.  What decade is this?

    I keep deleting them because I like her, but the more emails I get make me wonder if it’s a friendship worth pursuing.

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    Bad description?

    First of all, maybe I described it poorly, but I can’t believe no one thought my playground experience the other day was as nuts as I did.

    Let me emphasize the insanity in bold to make it a bit more clear. I won’t repost the whole thing, just the key weird bits. First the bit about the dad with the weed.

    The little boy went down the slide and his dad followed. An eighth of pot wrapped in a sandwich bag fell out of the dad’s pocket and landed underneath the slide. The dad hopped off of the slide, scooped up the bag and shoved it back in his pocket. I stared at him for a minute, wondering if he’d acknowledge that I’d just totally seen his bag of weed. He didn’t. Instead he reached in his pocket, pulled out a few more bags of weed in addition to the first and put them in a different pocket on the leg of his shorts, a pocket that closed with velcro.

    Now the part about the woman not wearing a shirt.

    A family shuffled up the walkway to the playground. There were two mildly retarded looking adults, a man and a woman, with a boy who looked to be about six or seven years old and a small baby in a carriage. The boy took off playing and the woman and the man sat on the bench with the stroller in front of them. The woman was oddly obese. She wasn’t nearly as large as the woman with the little girl in tap shoes, but she had a lumpy pendulous belly and she was wearing a bizarre cotton tie dyed overall shorts thing. She wasn’t wearing a shirt. The ill-fitting overalls only partially covered her stretched out, shiny white bra and back fat. She and the guy settled onto the bench and immediately took out their cell phonyes. It looked like they were playing games with them, and every so often they’d show each other something on the phone. The woman smiled at the Fiendling and asked me his age. I told her he’s almost a year and a half and she responded that her baby would be five months old tomorrow. I smiled and winced while she exhaled cigarette smoke into her baby’s carriage. A few minutes later she asked, “How do you spell minutes?” I spelled it for her and she thanked me and went back to pressing buttons on her phone.

    Seriously, don’t you think that stuff’s just a little bit fucking crazy? It was the playground!

    I’ve picked up another 451 Press blog in addition to Kids Dish. This one’s called Nursing Your Kids and it is, as you may guess from the title, about nursing your kids. I realize this is a niche market, but if you have some spare time hop over and click some ads for me. The money’s going straight to the Fiendling’s college fund.

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    Busy day

    I spent a couple of hours with Tony in the morning then I had lunch with Gabbiana, Fraulein N, and Doodlebug at Honey’s Sit ‘n’ Eat. When I got home from Northern Liberties the Fiendling had just woken up from a nap. For some reason it was a bad wakeup. He was sad and clingy and fussy and he somehow fell and hit his head, leaving a scrape and bruise just under his eye. Wanting to cheer him up we took him for a walk to see the pig who lives around the corner. Visiting and petting the pig improved his mood drastically, so we walked up to the playground.

    It was a little before six and the playground was packed. An obese woman wearing short shorts sat on a bench with her husband while their tow-headed little girl wearing a blue dress, ruffled ankle socks and sparkly pink shoes played with a dark skinned boy whose mom watched from the low wall encircling the playground. A mom with a girl who was about a year old pushed her in the baby swing while smoking a cigarette. A little boy a few months older than the Fiendling was running around with his dad, a guy about my age who had tattoos covering the majority of one leg (do they still call it a sleeve when it’s on a leg?) and a tattoo of a rose on the other leg.

    The little boy went down the slide and his dad followed. An eighth of pot wrapped in a sandwich bag fell out of the dad’s pocket and landed underneath the slide. The dad hopped off of the slide, scooped up the bag and shoved it back in his pocket. I stared at him for a minute, wondering if he’d acknowledge that I’d just totally seen his bag of weed. He didn’t. Instead he reached in his pocket, pulled out a few more bags in addition to the first and put them in a different pocket on the leg of his shorts, a pocket that closed with velcro.

    A family shuffled up the walkway to the playground. There were two mildly retarded looking adults, a man and a woman, with a boy who looked to be about six or seven years old and a small baby in a carriage. The boy took off playing and the woman and the man sat on the bench with the stroller in front of them. The woman was oddly obese. She wasn’t nearly as large as the woman with the little girl in tap shoes, but she had a lumpy pendulous belly and she was wearing a bizarre cotton tie dyed overall shorts thing. She wasn’t wearing a shirt. The ill-fitting overalls only partially covered her stretched out, shiny white bra and back fat. She and the guy settled onto the bench and immediately took out their cell phones. It looked like they were playing games with them, and every so often they’d show each other something on the phone. The woman smiled at the Fiendling and asked me his age. I told her he’s almost a year and a half and she responded that her baby would be five months old tomorrow. I smiled and winced while she exhaled cigarette smoke into her baby’s carriage. A few minutes later she asked, “How do you spell minutes?” I spelled it for her and she thanked me and went back to pressing buttons on her phone.

    A normal looking guy wearing an orange polo shirt arrived with his son who appeared to be about four or five. The dad said to his kid, “You’re one of the big kids here today, watch out for the little ones.” A few minutes later I turned around and saw that the dad was on his back on the ground, legs up on the low wall, doing sit ups. Sit ups. At the playground. He and his son didn’t stay for too long.

    The Fiendling was walking around the perimeter of the playground when a little girl of about two came into the playground with her mom and they sat on a bench together. The mom looked a bit crunchy and was wearing a shirt that said something about Darwin. The little girl wanted to play with the Fiendling and kept yelling, “Come here little boy. Come play.” Eventually the girl got up and she and the Fiendling began to play, climbing up the ladder and going down the slide.

    A blonde woman smoking a cigarette and a white guy with a stocking on his head walked in to the play area and sat with the obese woman wearing the bra instead of a shirt. They talked for a couple of minutes then the obese woman and the guy she was with left, leaving the older boy and the baby with the blonde and the guy with the do rag.

    The little girl wearing the ruffled socks and fancy shoes came over and seemed to want to play too. She stepped up onto the wall and yelled, “Look at me! Look! I can balance while I walk! WATCH ME!” I said, “I’m watching,” and she began to walk on it like a balance beam. Every few minutes she’d yell again for us to watch. She eventually got bored of the balance routine and started climbing up the slide while the Fiendling and the other little girl tried to go down. I kept telling her that she had to wait for the kids to come down before she climbed up. Her mother and father sat on the bench at the far side of the playground and didn’t seem to be paying any attention whatsoever. On her way up the slide she announced that her shoes had very high heels. When she reached the top she showed me just how high they were and slid back down. She sat at the foot of the slide and asked the Fiendling if he’d like to sit with her. He sat and she pointed out her shoes to him. He seemed to like the sparkles and touched them. He soon lost interest and began climbing the ladder again. Wanting more attention the girl stopped him at the bottom of the slide and asked if he wanted to sit and pet her shoes. I was relieved that he did not.

    It was close to seven at this point and the Fiendling was exhausted. Not wanting to upset him by leaving the playground Boyfiend waited for the exact right moment and scooped him up and skipped down the hill singing a little song. We sang the song about the marching ants all the way to the supermarket where we bought a loaf of Le Bus bread before heading home to feed the Fiendling and put him to bed.

    Boyfiend put the baby to sleep while I made a quick tomato sauce (over white beans for me and spaghetti for him) for dinner. I went outside to pick some basil and found this on the ground.

    Stupid raccoons. I guess it’s time to break out more coyote urine.

    Fiendling
    Philadelphia
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    8 things

    I’ve been tagged by Fraulein N. I feel like I constantly repeat myself when I do these things but I’ll do it anyway. These are the rules:

    Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
    People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
    At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
    Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

    1. I suck at folding laundry and often leave it to wrinkle in the basket after it’s washed and dried
    2. Yesterday I began using my google calendar in earnest since it’s spring and all of a sudden not only are we invited places again, there are a few days where we have more than one commitment.
    3. Even though I can be obsessive about cleaning I still haven’t touched the cat puke on the windowsill that’s been there since Tuesday.
    4. Remember the bronchitis that I’ve had on and off since July and haven’t written about in a while? Mostly gone. I finally went to a decent doctor and got put on about a gazillion different medications and I haven’t woken up coughing in almost a week.
    5. But the medications have had nasty side effects- splitting headaches, abdominal cramps, dizziness, and sunburn. I’ve been walking around in my beach hat for the past three days.
    6. I was going to add the book I finished the other night to my 50 books page only I couldn’t remember the name and rather than go into the bedroom and look at the title I’ve been searching on Amazon for the past 5 minutes trying to figure it out based on the search phrase “literacy los angeles”
    7. I just successfully googled it on my first try- Literacy and Longing in L.A.
    8. Watching Ugly Betty I just had a craving for empanadas. The frozen Goya kind.

    I don’t usually tag people because I almost never get tagged so I’ll throw caution to the wind and tag Mix because I always tag him when I get tagged, Madgirl because I forgot to tell her I wouldn’t make it to knitting on Monday and I hope she wasn’t there by herself, Doodlebug because her lists are always interesting, Chris Lehmann because I have a feeling he doesn’t get tagged for too many silly memes, Lawmummy because she has too much spare time, Natasha because she really made me want a thai ice coffee the other day, MV because she had her little girl Gabriela and I want to say congratulations and what better way to congratulate someone than to tag them for a meme. And I’ll tag Liz because Owen’s a cutie.

    (I’m skipping the rule about leaving comments so if you were tagged and didn’t get a comment from me it’s because I have no regard for the rules.)

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    Tuesday confessions

    I’m watching tonight’s Gilmore Girls right now. I was watching American Idol but I was watching the episode before it finished recording and I caught up to the commercials so I switched to Gilmore Girls which isn’t nearly as good as Martina McBride coaching Sanjaya. Anyway I’m not writing about TV tonight. Instead I’m going to reveal a deep, dark secret, one which I never thought I’d admit to the internet. So here it is: I am drinking wine that came in a box. Said box of wine (Merlot, 13.5% if you must know the details) was purchased earlier this evening. Boyfiend bought it with no input from me while I cooked dinner ( brown basmati and wild rice with asparagus in a balsamic shallot sauce and carrots with a balsamic glaze). Believe it or not, it’s pretty good, and that’s the part I was most reticent to admit. Now I will drink some more. Talk amongst yourselves.

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