girlfiend

My friend sent me a list of 17 ways to turn a breech baby. Most I was familiar with. Some were new to me.

5. CD/iPod headphones - place them inside mom’s pants toward her pubic bone and play classical music for 10 minutes 6-8 times a day.

Never occurred to me to put my ipod in my pants.

We made it through the great blizzard of 2010 without incident or major tantrum until bath time, when F sat in the (by then) cold water screaming at the top of his lungs for a good half hour. He did not want to get out. Yet, by the volume and intensity of his screams, he did not wish to stay in. A conundrum. So we did what any good parents would do and ignored him. We let him shiver in the cold bath until he was done screaming then got him a nice warm towel which is a wood stove bonus. We are spoiled by warm towels. F likes to go to sleep with a warm towel at night.

I baked two loaves of bread, a few dozen cookies, 2 dozen mini and 8 large sweet potato muffins, a focaccia, 2 pizzas, and made some sauce to go on the pizzas. The cookies are all gone, the boys ate more than dozen mini muffins, we ate half a loaf of bread and most of the pizzas. The focaccia is for later.

In a few hours, after B shovels the 2 feet of snow from the sky and the 3 extra feet of snow the plows pushed in front of our driveway, then goes down the hill to shovel the two feet of snow in front of the properties he manages, we’ll pack the car and begin our annual trek to New Hampshire. This is the trip where B ice fishes for 10 hours a day leaving me inside with the children. We go with two other couples (three this year) and it’s always a good time, except for the fact that I’m bitter about being stuck with the children. Oh, and the drinking. There is a lot of drinking. We are the only couple with children and our (who am I kidding, my) ability to drink freely is hampered by parenting. Then add in the pregnancy and my good time is further curtailed. But I’d be even more bitter if I was stuck at home with the kids while he was off gallivanting with friends for 4 nights, so I go. Without the kids it’s a 7 hour drive. With the kids, it’s 9. This is F’s first post-potty training long car trip, so I’m a little nervous.

And it should be noted that while packing for two children is ridiculous, packing for two children and three adults going to a cold climate in the winter is even more fucking ridiculous. Between the sweaters, snow pants, hats, gloves, boots, pack n play, toys, books, and diapers you’d think we were going a way for a month, not a long weekend. It’s a good thing we bought a giant car.

It is not even 10am and already I am doubting my ability to make it through the day without killing this kid. We fought over a grilled cheese sandwich that was too oozy that he threw on the couch, staining a blanket and his pajamas, he screamed for 6 minutes straight because I had to use the bathroom, and he’s currently screaming that T is not allowed to play with any toys because he insists that “everything is mine.” Even the things that clearly aren’t. I’ve already taken away TV and computer privileges for the day. He’s already had a time out in his room.

I don’t know how how I’m going to get through the day. I am already in tears.

It’s odd to be so very unhappy about this unplanned pregnancy yet so excited about the eventual baby.

T wanted very much to wear his winter boots this morning. I wonder if he knows we’re supposed to get 10-18 inches of snow.

I know nothing about middle child syndrome since I was an only child. All I know of it I’ve learned from The Brady Bunch. I imagine that T will not be affected in all the same ways as poor Jan was once this third child arrives, but he’s sure to experience some trauma and I want to record this easy time while it’s happening. I also feel like I should take some time to fill you in on the baby, lest you think I’ve forgotten him in the midst of all the asshole drama.

T, at 20 months, is awesome. He does have his fair share of toddler tantrums, and will scratch at my face and pull my hair if I forcibly remove him from whatever activity he should not be engaged in or take him away from the playground before he is ready to leave, but for the most part he is wonderful.

He still isn’t talking. He has a few words- mama, dada, haya (Howard), hi, yay (usually accompanied by a clap), and makes some animal and vehicle sounds, but that’s about it. And his animal sounds are just plain lazy. He says “mmmmm” for moo and “unh unh” for oink. At least he says them with enthusiasm. We finally had his hearing checked last week and as I suspected, it is fine. So we can rule out hearing issues. I still think he is just slow to talk and that when he is ready he will surprise us all with complete sentences.

His comprehension is fine- he follows multi-step directions with pleasure- and he is still relatively successful at communicating his wants and needs. He knows what he wants and if you don’t he will show you. He has long since mastered the art of pushing a step stool, chair, or any object he can move over to the cabinets (or window sill, or bed, or whatever) so he can help himself to a snack (or toy, or forbidden object) if you don’t move quickly enough. He points with such enthusiasm and nods his head yes when I get it right so earnestly that I don’t even have the heart to try to get him to speak. He is just plain bashful about attempting to repeat words. He’ll shake his head no and avert his eyes.

He’s not great at staying with me when I try to get him to walk instead of ride in a stroller or shopping cart, but he is getting better. He loves to push a shopping cart, and though every trip takes three times as long when I let him, it is worth it to see how much fun it is for him.

Finally, after many long months of wondering if this kid was just not a reader, T has fallen in love with books. He wants to read them before his nap and before bed, he wants to read when he wakes up and every time he sees a book he likes throughout the day. He’ll pick up the book of choice. Hold it extended in one hand and say “Eh,” which I assume means, “now, woman,” then turn around and back his butt up until it lands in my lap. Like most toddlers he has favorites and wants me to read the same book repeatedly. And by repeatedly I mean shoot me now, if I have to read that stupid motherfucking Cheerios Play Book one more time my head may explode, but I then I read it again because I’m just so damn grateful he is loving books. At least he switches them up every few days.

He is still a really good sleeper. He takes a two or three hour nap every day and sleeps through most nights. There are exceptions- molars, illness, sleep regression, moving bedrooms, brother screaming and waking him up in the night, but 90% of the time he is dependable. I can bring him up to his room, read him a story, put him in his crib and he’ll go to sleep. Sometimes he cries for a bit when I leave, but he usually realizes just how exhausted he is and goes to sleep pretty quickly. On rare occasions I’ll have to go back upstairs and hold him for a bit. He hasn’t nursed in a few days now. He seems pretty content for me to hold him. I’m hoping he’s done for good. F weaned right around the same age.

He loves to play with trains and cars and trucks. Unlike his brother he is not solely a railway enthusiast. He plays with his parking garage and with the race track and the train tracks contentedly, right up until his brother decides that other 7000 vehicles in the house aren’t good enough and he needs to take whatever T is playing with right out of his hand. T has caught on to F’s shenanigans, and at times he will preemptively run away from him, clutching whatever toy he is playing with at the moment. If he doesn’t see the attack coming he sometimes strikes back. And though I feel badly about cheering him on at his brother’s expense, F really does deserve to have his hair pulled, face scratched and legs bitten some times.

T loves to tackle and he loves to be tickled. He also loves when I play Criss Cross Applesauce with him, which is a back tickle that is a little more G-rated than the summer camp version we used to play that involved stabbing someone in the back with a knife.

He sings. Not words, but he hums the tune of several songs. At night when I sing to him before he goes to sleep he’ll often hum requests. Joshua Giraffe, Baa Baa Black Sheep (which he always requests over the other songs with the same tune), and Lovin’ You are his favorites right now.

I’m forgetting so many of the things I wanted to write about when I started this yesterday. I’m sure I’ll remember more and want to add it later. He is a good, sweet boy. He is such a good time. I love him so much.

Our bedtime experiment results have been mixed. T has adjusted nicely to the new room and likes climbing up on the big double bed to read stories before he goes to sleep for bed or nap. He didn’t nap particularly well most of last week, but I think that’s due mostly to his incoming 2 year molars and a slight cold. When I remembered to dose him with Motrin he slept through the night and took his usual 2-3 hour nap.

F isn’t adjusting. After the first night, when he woke up twice and woke me and his brother in the process, he went right back to sleeping in our bed. Right now this isn’t much of a problem. Except for the sideways sleeping. He likes to sleep sideways right beneath the pillows. Head by me, feet by B. Sometimes he switches and I get stuck with the feet. Most nights B moves him so that his head and feet are where they should be, but he doesn’t like sleeping with blankets and kicks himself out.

Early this morning I awoke to little feet kicking me on the legs and back. F was sideways, and angry. I don’t know what kind of dream he was having or what pissed him off, but his kicks, instead of accidental became shoves and he started yelling, “Go away,” and “leave me alone.” B woke up and went to the bathroom. I tried to calm F and turn him around, but he just got more and more angry and so did I. After a minute he seemed fully awake and aware so I told him that if he wanted to stay in our bed he was going to have to stop yelling at me and kicking. I told him I was going to bring him into the other room to sleep on the couch if he didn’t stop. He responded by throwing his water bottle then ripping a pillow out from under my head and throwing it. I lost my temper, picked him up and carried him into the other room where I dumped him on the couch. He got up and tried to run back into my room. I stopped him and put him back on the couch. He got off and tried to escape again. Same thing. By this point, really just a minute or two after he’d woken up in the first place, I was done.

B came out of the bathroom. I gave him the rundown of the previous minute and told him I was done. I went to the bathroom, then ignored the still angry and fighting Fiendling on my way back to bed. A few minutes later B and F got back into bed. I pretended to be asleep. F told B he wanted some water. His water bottle, which I’d collected from the floor was on my bedside table so I handed it to him. He said thank you then gave me a kiss. We all went back to sleep.

F didn’t wake up for the day until 8.30. I thought about waking him earlier but decided I’d rather have a peaceful hour or so with T. When he woke up he yelled for me. I went in to say good morning and sit with him for a few minutes while he adjusted to being awake. I asked if he remembered waking up in the night. He told me no. I reminded him of the events of the night before, glossing over the parts where he kicked me, threw his water, stole my pillow and got forcefully ejected from bed for a few minutes. He didn’t remember any of it.

I don’t know how I’m going to get my bed back before this baby comes. There’s no way I’m going to be able to share a bed with Boyfiend and the Fiendling and nurse a baby on and off all night. Even if I manage to stay awake for each nursing session and put the baby back in the pack n play, it’s still going to be a challenge.

It’s National Delurking Day, or what I affectionately like to call comment whore day. Pigs and I were just lamenting the loss of commenters now that more and more people are either reading through their phones or feed readers. So if you’re still reading, even if you’re not necessarily a lurker, leave a comment and let me know. Even if you’re reading this days from now, leave a comment. It will be good for my self esteem, and my self esteem could certainly use a boost these days.

I say semi-homemade like I’m that whore Sandra Lee from the Food Network. But what I mean is that to make up for the number of crappy, plastic toys that I gifted or received I tried to give some hand crafted gifts as well. I don’t know how much a few knit items even out the environmental impact, but at least I tried. I’m missing pictures of some monogrammed dish towels I knitted for my mother-in-law, but if you’re dying of curiosity, they looked just like this one, only different color, different letter.

I made little peanut ornaments for all of the kids. I wanted to make hats for them, but it wasn’t working out with the felt so I left them as is. I also meant to monogram them with embroidery floss, but made do with sewing thread.

I made these pajamas for the Fiendling.

I made a pinwheel sweater for my niece. It took me forever to figure out the pattern (it starts in the middle) but once I got past the first four inches it was easy.H

Here is another picture of what it looks like buttoned.

I made two of these little pinafores, one for my niece and one for Pancake. The first one I made was so cute I had to make another.

My dad got a scarf I did not take a picture of and the baby was the proud recipient of a little skully hat that was supposed to be a baby gift but ended up being way too big. I only have a crappy cell phone picture that I can’t figure out how to get on to flickr. But it’s a hat. With a skull and crossbones.

The kids did receive some toys that were not environmental disasters. (I swear I was not this concerned about the amount of crap we produce until we had kids.) Some of my favorites were these two recycled  dump trucks, and the Plan Toys airport, parking garage and dollhouse.

Without even forcing myself to hurry up and read I managed to exceed my goal this year. 57 books isn’t bad, especially since very few of them were young adult novels.

If I could just get into the habit of adding authors and hyperlinks as I go posting this list wouldn’t be so daunting at the end of every year. But for now I will continue to be lazy and just post the link to my goodreads page for anyone interested in more details and my ratings.  Here is the list from December back to January.

57. Baking Cakes in Kigali

56. Party Girl

55. Waiter Rant

54. Things I Want May Daughters to Know

53. Vanishing Acts

52. Schuyler’s Monster

51. Franny and Zooey

50. Atonement

49. The Little Giant of Aberdeen County

48. Rude Awakenings of a Jane Austen Addict

47. Olive Kitteredge

46. Belong to Me

45. Perfect Life

44. An Arsonist’s Guide to Writer’s Homes in New England

43. Dirty Girls on Top

42. Pictures at an Exhibition

41. Swimming

40. The Girl She Used to Be

39. Wedding Belles

38. Strange Bedpersons

37. Keep Your Mouth Shut and Wear Beige

36. The Divorce Party

35. Chasing Harry Winston: A Novel

34. 37

33. The Farmer’s Wife Guide To Growing A Great Garden And Eating From It, Too!: Storing, Freezing, and Cooking Your Own Vegetables

32. The Book Thief

31. Atlas of Unknowns

30. A Homemade Life

29. The Private Lives of Pippa Lee

28. Building a Home with my Husband

27. Rules for Saying Goodbye

26. Love in the Present Tense

25. New Moon

24. The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao

23. What Do You Do All Day?

22. Perfect Fifths

21. Strange Nervous Laughter

20. Based on the Movie

19. Twilight

18. The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society

17. The Cure for Modern Life

16. Time of My Life

15. The Year of Living Biblically

14. It Sucked and Then I Cried

13. The Good Thief’s Guide to Paris

12. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

11. Sitting Practice

10. Three Cups of Tea

9. When Madeline Was Young

8. Girls in Trucks

7. The End of the Alphabet

6. The Grift

5. Belle in the Big Apple

4. The Ungarnished Plate

3. Tomato Girl

2. The Answer is Always Yes

1. The Castle Corona

I haven’t done one of these in a few years.

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?

I unintentionally got pregnant

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I’m not a resolution maker and I don’t know that I’ll start now, but there are ideas I’m tossing around.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

My friend Ellen, Doodlebug, my sister-in-law

4. Did anyone close to you die?

I think 2009 was funeral free for us, but my internet friend lost her mother.

5. What countries did you visit?

Ha. We made it as far as New Hampshire.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?

More patience with my (asshole) 3 (soon to be 4) year old.

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

I blocked out the exact date, but in early September I walked my kids over to the Rite Aid, perused the selection for the cheapest 2 pack, brought home and took the positive pregnancy test

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I’m not sure. I completed a sewing class and a pair of pajamas for F. I started and completed several complicated sewing projects. I read more books than I’ve read the previous 3 or 4 years. I actually completed the  number of gym visits I needed to get my reimbursement from insurance for the first time since F was born.  I got very good at couponing and managing our food budget. I’m managing my own time better, which I should give myself credit for.

9. What was your biggest failure?

I wish I’d been a better mother at times. I’m not proud of the way I react to F sometimes. I know it’s just a stage, and underneath he’s still the sweetest kid, but my god, I want to fucking kill him sometimes.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Nothing major, but my asthma was pretty bad the past few months. The last lung function test I took put me at 60% capacity.  I had a freak intestinal infection over the summer that landed me in the ER, the antibiotic combination made me puke for months, then ooops! I found out maybe some of that puking was related to my surprise pregnancy.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

I love the desk I bought at a flea market. Also, our giant, gas guzzling 8 seater car is pretty sweet too. And the oven that doesn’t lock by itself is a winner. And the toilet that doesn’t run for hours is lovely. I’m also pretty fond of the new roof that doesn’t leak. There was a very cute shirt from the Gap too.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

My husband is fantastic.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Mine. The Fiendling’s. Mine in reaction to the Fiendling. Family members I am not allowed to write about.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Bills. Lots and lots of bills. Financially, 2009 was a rough year until we got our tax return and it wasn’t any more.

15. What did you get really excited about?

My kids have finally started playing together. It is a beautiful thing when it doesn’t result in screaming within the first 5 minutes.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?

Loving You as sung by John Stamos’s brother on South Park.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

– happier or sadder? Happier, sadder, somewhere in between. Happier now than I was earlier in the year.
– thinner or fatter? More pregnant.
– richer or poorer? Richer. Last year this was a very tough time for us.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

I wish I’d spent more time with my friends.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

I wish I’d spent less time feeling irritated and/or angry

20. How did you spend Christmas?

We spent Christmas Eve at home, a tradition I hope to keep. My parents came over Christmas morning to watch the kids open presents then we went to my sister-in-law’s for dinner.

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?
Not really.

22. What was your favorite TV program?

Everything I watch is on Netflix or Hulu. I loved Friday Night Lights, Battlestar Galactica, Mad Men and LOST.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

No, but I’ve unfortunately been unable to let go of some grudges.

24. What was the best book you read?

I LOVED A Homemade Life by Molly Wizenberg,  and really liked The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer, and Olive Kitteredge by Elizabeth Strout.

I5. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I’m too old to discover anything. I’m stuck in a musical rut.

26. What did you want and get?

An ice cream maker, a big cast  iron pan, better rolling pin, sewing lessons, and I can now bake a successful loaf of bread just about every time.

27. What did you want and not get?

A live in nanny.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

We watch a lot of TV and not too many movies. I liked Julie and Julia (hated the book about the blog, liked Julia Child’s book) which I just watched the other night when B was out. Food, Inc. made me feel pretty smug about our eating habits.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

B threw me a belated 30th birthday party the night before I turned 31.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

I wish I’d had it in me to write more.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?

I rediscovered the Gap this summer, since I finally felt thin enough to shop somewhere other than Old Navy, but now I’m pregnant again. I’m just wearing the same damn maternity clothes and sneakers I’ve been wearing since I got pregnant in 2005.  And the giant wool sweaters I’ve had since college. Can’t forget those.

32. What kept you sane?

My husband, my (internet, mostly)friends, my asthma inhalers.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Tim Riggins from Friday Night Lights.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

Issues? My friend from the playground summed it up pretty nicely here.  Add pregnancy to the mix and I’m utterly useless in adult conversation

35. Who did you miss?

My friends. I went for months without seeing friends who live a few blocks away.

36. Who was the best new person you met?

I don’t know if I’ve met anyone new this year aside from reading a few new blogs.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.

Life lessons? Ummm.  If you’re learning to bake bread  start with white bread. Don’t forget to put the presser foot down on the sewing machine.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Drawing a blank.  The only lyric that comes to mind is, “My mommy doesn’t lick me. Even when I’m sticky.”