girlfiend

I meant to post a belly pic, but the flash made everything screwy, then the camera battery died before I could take more. Stupid battery. But since everyone else is doing it, here’s a little meme that’s been going around.

TEN random things you might not know about me.

1. I love dark chocolate covered pretzels.
2. When I was 5 I had a pet bunny named Twinkletoes who escaped into our backyard.
3. The smell of microwave popcorn reminds me of the smell of vomit.
4. I still call my dad “daddy” and I probably always will.
5. In school I was an excellent biology student, even in college.
6. Over the years, in cleaning frenzies I’ve given stuff away that I wish I’d kept.
7. I’m a terrible pool player.
8. My mom, who obviously hasn’t paid much attention over the years, often says I’m “hot-blooded” like my father, which is bullshit since I’ve unfortunately inherited her tendency to be cold almost all of the time.
9. I met Boyfiend by telling him a dirty joke that involved matches.
10. Sometimes when I’m not thinking about anything in particular, I randomly think of the word peanuts, or peanut butter. I have no idea why.

NINE places I’ve visited

1. London, England
2. Brussels, Belgium
3. Naxos, Greece
4. Paris, France
5. Hameln, Germany
6. Amsterdam, Netherlands
7. Drummore, Scotland
8. Harleysville, Pennsylvania
9. San Francisco, California

EIGHT ways to win my heart

1. Clean without me asking
2. Tell me how great my cats are
3. Make me laugh
4. Don’t interrupt me
5. Make me breakfast
6. Notice when my house is clean
7. Eat a meal I’ve cooked without adding salt
8. Rub my forehead when I can’t sleep

SEVEN things I want to do before I die

1. Write a book
2. Become a certified yoga instructor
3. Knit myself a sweater that I’ll wear all the time
4. Own a beach house
5. Bake bread from a starter I’ve made myself
6. Move this stupid blog to the domain I registered forever ago
7. Find the best pizza in Philadelphia

SIX things I’m afraid of

1. Things I can’t control
2. Cancer
3. Losing people I love
4. Not having enough money
5. Women losing their right to choose
6. Getting fat

FIVE things I don’t like

1. When Boyfiend fries fish in the house
2. People telling me what to do
3. When the cats puke on the rug or furniture
4. Bad parents
5. NCLB

FOUR ways to turn me off

1. Use the words “supposably” or “irregardless”
2. Spell things wrong on purpose and use apostrophes incorrectly
3. Dislike my cats
4. Tiptoe around me instead of just being straightforward and telling me what you want

THREE Things I do every day

1. Tell Boyfiend I love him
2. Pet my cats
3. Floss

TWO things that make me happy

1. A clean house
2. Waking up with Boyfiend beside me and the cats in a pile at the foot of the bed

ONE thing on my mind right now

1. The baby. It’s moving around a bit.

Honey’s Sit ‘n Eat, owned by my good friends Ellen and Jeb, got a mention in a New York Times article about Northern Liberties. You should go to Honey’s and get yourself some brisket or something before the New Yorkers looking for the 6th borough beat you to it.

You’d think that since I was anticipating feeding 17 people for Thanksgiving I would have written something about it before now. The preparations went on for weeks and the to-do lists grew increasingly longer as we got closer to the actual event. In addition to the endless shopping, cleaning and cooking and the paying of someone else to paint most of the rooms in the house, I painted a huge piece of furniture, recovered dining room chair cushions with a staple gun, and made Boyfiend replace all of the cabinet hardware in the kitchen.

On Tuesday I learned that four people were unable to attend. Relieved, on Wednesday I started the hardcore cooking. I brined a 21-lb turkey in a trash can in the foyer, baked muffins and cookies, prepped all of the fresh vegetables, roasted two heads of garlic and a 7-lb stuffed turkey breast and made a batch of gravy. Thursday morning I rinsed, drained and stuffed the bigass turkey and got it in the oven by 10:15. My mom showed up around noon and helped me set the tables and get hors d’oeuvres going. The guests started to arrive around three and we started dinner by six. Everything was delicious, noone was poisoned, my crazy Aunt Bea was actually friendly and nice, and I didn’t have a nervous breakdown, despite the fact I was unable to drink copious amounts of alcohol.

After dinner, my parents, and Boyfiend’s mother, brother and sister-in-law helped clean up. Then, too full to eat much dessert, everyone but me got shitfaced and had loud conversations where they cursed loudly in front of their parents and repeated themselves over and over and over again. The last of our guests left after midnight, drunk on wine beer and far too much whiskey. The night ended with Boyfiend, who insisted he was just fine, vomiting then passing out hard. Somehow in his drunken sleep he ended up kicking me out of bed. Thankfully we now have a king-sized bed and I was able to move and sleep across the bottom of the bed.

Here’s a list of things I am thankful for this year:

• My husband
• The baby on the way
• feeling the baby move and kick
• seeing the baby move and kick
• boyfiend’s medical insurance
• No chromosomal disorders
• Good friends
• Our new house
• our king-sized bed
• The woodstove in the upstairs parlor
• A kitchen big enough to cook in in
• The enormous chest freezer in the basement and the extra fridge in the garage
• Currently happy and healthy cats
• A new hobby
• Tivo
• Being told that it looks like I haven’t put on weight anywhere but my belly
• Lazy weekends
• A job that doesn’t require anything emotionally
• Did I mention the king-sized bed?

Last year’s list.

If you’re interested, here’s my Thanksgiving menu. The items I made are in bold.

Appetizers:
Puff pastry hors d’oeuvres, including spinach puffs, potato puffs, and others including the always popular pigs in blankets
Cheese plate with fresh bread and crackers
Veggies and dip

Dinner:
Corn chowder
Brined Roast Turkey
Stuffing
Giblet gravy
Candied Sweet potatoes
Carrots with pecans
Roasted garlic mashed potatoes
Cranberry sauce
Parker House Rolls
Steamed green beans

Dessert:
Pumpkin Pie
Pumpkin cheesecake with a pecan gingersnap crust
Chocolate chip cookies(some with peanut butter chips)
Chocolate covered pretzels
Belgian chocolate cookies

I got an email from Mandygirl today who’s bringing home a Thanksgiving surprise.

For thanksgiving, we’re having a boy!
He needs a name.
He’s a two year old stray from way up in the Northeast! The woman who brought him to the shelter said that she had seen him hit by a car twice in front of her. The vet said he’s fine and doesn’t seem to have been hit. He has a bloodshot right eye which indicates that he was on a choke collar that was too tight. His hair was matted and he was shaking!
What a sweetie. Hopefully, he’ll learn to pee outside and will be nice, and will enjoy his new home. He’s getting neutered today and hopefully we’ll have him with our turkey. I’d like his name to be thanksgiving related or related to his red eye. Maxwell Turkey? Turk E. K——?
Help name him!

Thanks!
love,
mandygirl

So whaddaya think? I like Maxwell, but it’s not especially Thanksgiving-y. (If I asked this on a pregnancy message board I’m sure some of those morons would suggest Pylgrym or Kranburee or Bowntee or some shit like that.)Let’s name that cutieface.

This may just be too much information, especially for those of you who are male and know me in real life, so I’m warning you to stop now, before I discuss yet another weird pregancy quirk.

Still reading?

Yesterday I was sitting on the couch knitting and I suddenly felt a little wet. I was wearing a heavy sweatshirt and couldn’t really see anything so I ignored it. But then a minute later I still felt a little wet, so I lifted my sweatshirt and took a peak. I had a quarter shape wet spot over my right breast. MY NIPPLE WAS LEAKING!

Never before have I been so freaked out, I mean I knew it could happen, but I really didn’t think that at six months months pregnant my right nipple would start leaking. IT WAS LEAKING! And I was just sitting there, doing nothing to encourage it. I wasn’t poking or prodding or squeezing to see if anything was happening, but my right tit decided it was time to let me know that milk production is happening behind the scenes. Let’s just hope this doesn’t mean I have to start wearing nursing pads on a daily basis.

In case you were concerned, I will not be naming my child Kaydence, Lyberty, Brandee, Tylar, Ranae, Jayson, Brily or Dakoda.

Boyfiend, in a football-induced euphoria, just leaned down to say hi to the baby. He’s taken to speaking to my stomach, which is just too cute for words. This time, after saying hello he rested his head on my belly and said, “Come on, baby. Kick daddy in the head.” Just as he lifted his head the baby obliged, and has been happily kicking away ever since.

There’s no question that low rise pants have been all the rage for a few years now. I am pleased to see that waist(hip?)bands have been steadily rising, but not quite high enough. This morning at breakfast Boyfiend and I noticed a lovely young woman sitting at the counter. At least two inches of her butt crack were completely exposed. It’s fall, and while it is sunny and warmer than usual, I can’t imagine that she didn’t feel a breeze. As a victim of the low rise pants trend myself, I’m hyper aware of when my ass is hanging out and can’t understand why the girl didn’t just pull up her pants. Doesn’t she realize that butt cracks aren’t hot? There is nothing attractive about a girl with her crack hanging out. At least she wasn’t wearing an exposed thong.

When I saw the title of the article Smarter kids may live longer: study, I suddenly regressed to fifth grade and responded, “No shit, Sherlock.”