girlfiend

Pigs’ book club read The Color of Water, a book about a black man who learns as an adult that his mother was a white, Jewish woman.* At her book club meeting everyone brought an item of Jewish food. There were bagels, latkes, cheesecake, and Pigs brought hummus. If I were to bring Christian food to a book club meeting I’d probably bring ham and hot cross buns. Maybe a communion wafer, if I could get my hands on one.

Anyway, check out the comments in the post. Guess which one annoyed me.

*My mother gave me that book a few years before it was the 2004 selection of the One Book One Philadelphia book discussion, saying, “It’s just like us, only you’re not black!”

For those of you who dust, do you dust with a product or just a dust cloth or duster of some sort? I’ve always just used a cloth or duster but I find myself writing my initials or obscene drawings in the dust of one particular piece of furniture on what seems like a daily basis and I’m wondering if there’s some product that would possibly repel dust. Is this just a dream? What, if anything, does Pledge do? I have Pledge wipes, but I don’t think I’ve noticed that they do anything other than make surfaces slightly shiny while they dust. Am I missing something?

For those of you who knit, does knitting in the round with dpns ever stop sucking? Because I suck at it. I’ve been knitting a sweater since Christmas and I finally got to the sleeves and I thought for sure I could make them work with circulars but then, after I somehow managed to pick up the required number of stitches I got 4 or 5 rounds in and realized I was fooling myself and ripped it all out. When I attempted to start again I couldn’t for the life of me get all 52 stitches on the needles. I got stuck somewhere around 40 twice, and Madgirl, who deserves a medal for her attempt, also only got somewhere around 40. As I watched Madgirl counting and picking up stitches I reread the pattern and saw that it called for dpns to begin with. How I missed that, and how the woman in the yarn store who helped me figure out which size circulars to use missed that, I do not know. So I started and knit a round and realized I was knitting on the wrong side. I unknit the beginning of that round and was so flustered that when I began the round again I forgot to increase and was still 12 stitches short. I managed to increase and knit a few rounds successfully and after I thought I had it together I somehow screwed up and found myself knitting on 2 instead of 3 needles. Or is it 3 instead of 4? I have stitches on 3 and I’m knitting with 1, so how do you describe it? Obviously I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.

Once again I’m writing while the Fiendling is passed out in the stroller on the porch. Only this time, since the weather is gorgeous, I’m sitting out with him.

I’m sort of at a loss with the nap issue. He hasn’t taken a nap anywhere other than a car or his stroller for two weeks. He naps better in the car than he does in the stroller but driving around all day hoping he’ll nap isn’t my activity of choice. I think I’ll put the computer back inside, grab my walking sneakers (as opposed to my lounging sneakers) and head out to the Wissahickon. May as well get some exercise while he’s snoring away.

Though expectations were low, my birthday was actually pretty good. First thing in the morning the Fiendling and I headed to my mom’s so I could go to the gym, but traffic was heavier than expected and two accidents on Kelly Drive caused the 10-15 minute trip to take closer to 35 minutes. By the time we got there and learned that my mother isn’t going to the shore this weekend so I didn’t have to rush over there first thing it was too late for me to go to the gym anyway, so we hung out for half an hour and I opened my present, an enormous Le Creuset dutch oven, and came home with jewelry to wear to the wedding we’re going to Saturday.

We left my mom’s and went to the Fiendling’s one year appointment. His weight is low, probably somewhere in the 8th percentile at 19 lbs 12 oz, but he’s still in the 50th percentile for height (30 inches) and head circumference. The doctor, who I still want to call the vet after a year, seemed impressed by his 8 word vocabulary and said he was doing great. She also didn’t seem to mind that his weight, while slowly gaining, is dropping percentile wise. She told me that it’s totally normal for healthy babies to thin out and she’d rather see that than him be fat and when I asked if he should be drinking regular, cow’s milk she replied, “If he’s still nursing 3-4 times a day why would you give him cow’s milk when he’s already getting so much of the good stuff?”

Then came the traumatic part of the appointment- the bloodletting. They needed to draw a vial of blood for anemia and lead testing. The Fiendling was a bit fussy from the poking and prodding to begin with, so when they tied on the tourniquet and started looking for veins he was inconsolable. The nurses found a decent vein in his right arm and filled a vial while he sobbed uncontrollably. When they removed the needle from his arm, he moved suddenly and his blood splattered all over the floor and all over my leg. Then, to really cheer him up, they gave him two shots in his pudgy baby thighs.

We skipped playgroup in the hopes that a nap would happen. It didn’t, but he cheered up in time for us to go to Doodlebug’s house for wine and cheese and another excellent gift- a square ceramic pan, perfect for brownies complete with bar of chocolate and brownie recipe.

At this point, seven hours after I began this post, I’ve lost interest completely in telling you about the rest of my birthday. The important thing was that it was a good day. Instead of boring myself recounting the details of more wine, cupcakes, and leftover eggplant lasagna, I’ll leave you with the lasagna recipe because it’s really, really good.

Eggplant and Country Bread Lasagna (from Lidia’s Italy, but the recipe isn’t on the site so I had to watch the show and figure it out)

• Loaf of Italian Bread, sliced
• Eggplant (I used one large, but you could use a few small, Italian eggplants)
• flour (enough for dredging- maybe a cup?)
• Marinara sauce (Recipe is here- I made one batch but it wasn’t enough so I made a second)
• Parmesan Cheese (I grated maybe two cups)
• Fresh Basil ( five or six leaves)
• Butter (enough to butter the pan)
• vegetable oil for frying (maybe half a cup?)

Directions: Trim the stems and ends from the eggplant(s). Remove strips of peel about 1-inch wide from the eggplant(s), leaving about half the peel intact. Cut the eggplant into 1/2-inch thick slices and place them in a colander. Sprinkle with the coarse salt and let drain for 1 hour. Rinse the eggplant under cool running water, drain throroughly and pat dry.

Dredge the eggplant rounds in flour shaking off the excess. Heat vegetable oil (the oil should be deep enough to cover about half of the eggplant) in a large pan. Fill the pan with as many slices fit without touching and fry until golden brown, turning once. Remove the eggplant to a baking pan lined with paper towels.

Preheat the oven to 375. Butter the bottom and sides of a ceramic baking pan or lasagna dish. Cover the bottom with a single layer of the sliced Italian bread, overlapping if necessary. Pour about half of the marinara sauce over the bread, spreading it evenly. Top with a layer of fried eggplant, pressing down gently. Tear a few leaves of basil over the eggplant. Sprinkle a layer of grated cheese on top. Continue layering bread, sauce, eggplant and cheese, ending with shredded parmesan. (My lasagna layered as follows: bread, sauce, eggplant, cheese, bread, sauce cheese) Cover with foil and bake for 30 minutes. Remove foil and continue baking until cheese is golden and bubbly, about 15 minutes more. Let rest for 15 minutes then cut into squares and serve.

It’s my birthday.

I’m a pretty good cook. I read a lot of cookbooks, I’m not afraid to experiment, and aside from the ravioli incident I don’t usually have too much trouble. But for some reason I cannot, for the life of me, successfully make chocolate chip cookies. A four layer chocolate cake from scratch? Not a problem. Pumpkin cheesecake with a ginger crust? Child’s play. Oatmeal butterscotch cookies are easy as pie. But chocolate chip cookies? I suck.

They always look lovely when I open the oven door, but as soon as they hit the air of the kitchen they begin to spread and flatten, leaving pockmarked crepes with bulbous chocolate chip lumps. Not pretty. Tasty, but not pretty. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I’ve experimented with the temperature of the butter, I’ve used the stand mixer, a hand mixer and my hands to mix. I’ve tried the recipe on the chip bag and the recipes in three different cookbooks. I’ve put them on the cookie sheet in rounded tablespoons and teaspoons wondering if it was the size of the uncooked dough that was the problem. I bought new baking soda. I still fuck it up every time.

As the Fiendling’s never been much of a napper, I take what I can get, which means I’ve taken to leaving him wherever he falls asleep. The majority of his naps the past few weeks have taken place in the car in the driveway while I watch from the window. Right now he’s asleep in his stroller on the front porch. I’d have brought him in and left him in the stroller, but too much of an atmospheric change tends to wake him, so on the porch he sleeps.

First of all, I’m now of the opinion that I completely overreacted to my mother’s comment. My mom hasn’t said a word about it, and she told me that she and my cousin haven’t spoken in weeks. That bit of information and Jessica’s comment that her friend may have been the person in NYC reading the archives have made me feel infinitely more relaxed about blogging in general. Nonetheless, when I do blog about my wonderfully functional family in the future, I’ll stick with the password protecting just to save my ass.

Second of all, I apologize to those of you with Macs who can’t access the password protected posts. I don’t know if it’s a wordpress thing or a Mac thing, but I don’t know how to fix it. If any Mac users who happen to use wordpress are reading, I’d love any advice.

Third of all, yesterday was our wedding anniversary. We started the day (after a sleepless night for me and the Fiendling) in Syracuse at a funeral, then drove the four hours home through a light snow storm in Boyfiend’s parents’ car. Boyfiend’s parents rallied, and upon our arrival home they kindly offered to watch the Fiendling while we went out for anniversary drinks. It wasn’t the best anniversary, but margaritas always improve my mood and at least I got to spend one hour alone with the man I love.

As for American Idol, I’ve been watching the show while I write this, and there’s just something wrong about the camera crew focusing on that homely crying girl during Sanjaya’s performance. Wrong. Really, truly, wrong. And they just didn’t stop. Make her go away. Poor Sanjaya. Poor homely, crying girl. Oh, and Haley’s performance was adorable- the first one I’ve sort of liked. But the shorts? Formal shorts are evil. And seriously, Ryan Seacrest should never, ever, under any circumstances make the motion he made while talking to Chris Sligh on camera. It brings to mind all sorts of things I don’t want brought to mind.  If you don’t know what I’m talking about you’re lucky.

I still can’t get the password to work. There’s very little I plan on censoring, but occasionally there will be a doozy of a post I’m going to have to protect in some way. For now, that means I mark them as private until I can figure out how to password protect here. (the post is protected but the password won’t open it and wordpress forums aren’t helping.)

Anyone who’s inquired about a password has gotten an email update with a bit more detail of why I got so freaked out the other day, so if you’d like to read what I can’t post for the present let me know. You can email me or leave a comment- your email address is only visible to me in the comments so don’t worry about spam. I’m only adding people who ask directly. That means if you’re a real friend or a blog friend and want to read you’ll have to ask because I don’t want to assume you want the occasional email where I drone on and on about the dysfunction and the never-ending insults I suffer that you’ve probably already heard me bitch about at length.

Now I will resume meaningless chatter about the weather. Did I mention that it was so warm I spent all of Tuesday outside and got sunburned? Today the weather is calling for snow. I hate March.