girlfiend

I just lost my shit at the local chain bookstore. We go there for the train table. (because the TWO at our house aren’t good enough) The boys were playing nicely until two other boys showed up. F started in with his bossy, you’re playing with them all wrong ways. I told him that if he didn’t play nicely we were going to have to leave, a threat I’ve followed through on at least twice before. One of the other boys put Terence the tractor on the tracks instead of on the road. F screamed, and snatched it out of his hand. I told him to give it back immediately or we were leaving. He brought the train up over his head. I told him not to, but it was too late. He threw the train back on the table where it bounced up and hit the other kid in the forehead.

F knew immediately what he’d done and said sorry but it was too late. The kid started to cry and the mother understandably started to freak out.  I apologized like a babbling idiot and asked if the boy was okay. I grabbed F and told him we were leaving and to say he was sorry to the little boy. He burst into tears and started running. I was at a complete loss and just let him go while I got my coat on and T’s.  The other mother and her friend brought their kids over to the cafe to get ice for the head wound. I apologized again, but I don’t think she cared.  She was pissed, and rightfully so. This all took place in about a minute.

F showed up, peeking around the corner and I told him we were leaving. He cried no, he wanted to stay so I very calmly took him by the shoulders, got down so I could look him in the eye, and told him that we had to go because he hadn’t played nicely. He had gotten angry, thrown a toy and it had hurt another kid. The little fucker corrected me and told me that he hadnt thrown a toy. I nearly fucking killed him until I realized that the know it all had just corrected me because Terence is a tractor, not a toy. I took a deep breath and told him that I knew that he hadn’t meant to hit the boy,  but he threw Terence and the boy got hurt.  I asked why it’s not safe to throw trains and he told me because someone could get hurt. Still horrified, but somewhat appeased by his answer I got his coat on and told him to put his scarf, which he didn’t want to wear, into the bag.

A woman who I guess was looking at books in the section came over and said, “You look like you need a hug. I’ve been there.” She leaned down, hugged me, and walked away and I promptly burst into tears. I tried to keep it under control, but just them a fucking store manager came over with a clipboard and incident report to fill out. I could barely speak through my choking sobs. She told me that no one was in trouble, that she just needed a record of the incident and tried to get me to get it together so she could fill out the paperwork, but I was just a mess. She told me the woman called her pediatrician (what the fuck, the kid wasn’t bleeding, it was a bump from a toy train, excuse me tractor)and did I need her to call anyone for me.

I managed to get through the paper with her, why she wouldn’t just let me write my own fucking report I don’t know, and she left and I tried really hard to stop crying. Meanwhile the boys were still playing with the trains, well T was and F kept going from the chair over to the train table and I kept  sitting him back down in the chair. After 15 minutes or so I got it together, picked up my bag and the baby, and told F we were leaving.

Of course the little shit said no and sat on the floor in front of a toy display and I had to repeat myself three times before he got up. He followed me, but slowly, and we made it to the front of the store where he decided he needed a goddamn cookie (which admittedly, he’d been promised hours earlier before he wacked a kid in the head with a tractor). I said no and he followed me to the doors of the store, but wouldn’t go any further. I stood there for a few minutes with him before I gave up and left him there so I could put the baby and the bag in the car and go back from him. I was parked right in front of the store so I could see him through the doors, small and sad. I put the baby in the car, went back and grabbed the Fiendling who then inappropriately whined for candy. I screamed at him and buckled both of the kids in their seats and sobbed in the drivers seat for 10 minutes before I felt okay to drive.

I drove home crying while F screamed that he wanted to listen to Jack Johnson and that he needed to go back to the store to buy something. He needed to buy something. The little fucking ingrate who just whacked a kid in the head with a toy tractor was outraged that I wouldn’t buy him something. I blame Christmas for his complete loss of manners and bad parenting mixed with three year old bullshit for the rest of his inexcusable behaviors.

Things didn’t get better once we were home. He kept pushing my buttons and ignoring my pleas to stop talking. There was a lot of yelling on my part. Raging lunatic yelling. The poor baby just stared and quietly ate his lunch.  I put the baby down for a nap and haven’t really stopped crying yet. F wisely decided to leave me alone and is watching TV.

I know that the Fiendling did not mean to hurt the kid. It wasn’t even the kid he was annoyed with. He just threw the toy on the table and it bounced up and hit the kid on the head. It wasn’t even very hard. And I hate to be annoyed with the mother for overreacting, but I am. When he wasn’t quite 2 years old, F was hit in the head with a train by a kid who picked up the train and intentionally smacked him right on the head. I’m sure it hurt- F was bald, you could see the bruise. But I didn’t call for a fucking incident report. Come to think of it, not long before the two boys showed up at the table, a little girl who is probably the same age as T snatched a train out of his hand and whacked him with it. The mother apologized and took her to read some stories.  Then a minute or two later the girl came back and did it again.  I didn’t freak out. I wasn’t even annoyed. I just picked him up and he went back to playing.

I’m getting off topic. I’m completely mortified. I hate this.